The Return of the Condor Heroes Chapter 13 – Part 4

Huo Dou was angry, but he reminded himself that a little impatience must not upset a great plan. His side had won two bouts and the title of Alliance Chief of the wulin was already theirs. Why start a fresh quarrel over a boy? “Little beast,” he said, “a brat as wild as you badly needs a lesson, but that can wait. Now let the Alliance Chief of all the wulin under heaven, State Preceptor Jinlun, address you all, and let everyone heed his venerable commands.” The heroes roared in protest, and the hall was in uproar.

Huo Dou said loudly, “We agreed at the start: best of three. Does the word you gave count as the word of men, or not?”

The heroes were all men of name in the jianghu,¹ and every one of them knew that a team of four horses cannot overtake a word once spoken.² Go back on their word they never would. Yet both bouts had been lost unjustly. In the first, victory had been turned into defeat by a treacherous blow, and in the second, only a weapon had been broken. But to insist that they had not lost was hard to do with a straight face either. Put to them like that, for a moment no one could find an answer.

Yang Guo spoke up. “This old monk is so tall, so thin, so strange-looking. How can he be Alliance Chief? I say he is not fit.”

Huo Dou snarled, “Who is this child’s shifu? Take him away and discipline him. If he keeps making trouble here, I will not show mercy.”

Yang Guo said, “My shifu is the one fit to be Alliance Chief. What skill does your shifu have?”

Huo Dou asked, “Who is your shifu? Please ask him to come out and show himself.” Seeing that Yang Guo’s skills were far from ordinary, he reckoned his shifu must be a master, and so he used the word “please”.

Yang Guo said, “In today’s contest for Alliance Chief, it is the disciples who fight for their shifus, is it not?”

Huo Dou said, “Correct. We have won two of the three bouts, so my shifu is Alliance Chief.”

Yang Guo said, “Fine. Suppose you beat them, so what? You have not beaten my shifu’s disciple.”

Huo Dou asked, “Who is your shifu’s disciple?”

Yang Guo laughed. “Fool! My shifu’s disciple, that would be me.”

The heroes found this so amusing that they all burst out laughing.

Yang Guo laughed too. “Let us also fight three bouts. If you win two, then I will acknowledge the old monk as Alliance Chief. But if I win two, then I am sorry, the position of Alliance Chief will have to go to my shifu.”

Hearing him say this, the crowd all thought, Can his shifu really be someone of great standing, come to contend with Hong Qigong³ and State Preceptor Jinlun for the post of Alliance Chief? Whoever his shifu is, at least he is a Han.⁴ Better that than letting a Mongol State Preceptor carry off the title. The boy, of course, was no match for Huo Dou, but their side was already beaten, and only by starting some fresh complication could the tide be turned. So they all chimed in. “Right, right. Not unless you Mongols win two more bouts.” “This young fellow is quite right.” “The Central Plains is full of masters. You got lucky in two bouts. What is so special about that?”

Huo Dou thought, Their two strongest have both been beaten. What do I have to fear from two more? The only danger is that they wear us down in relays, sending two more each time we beat two. To Yang Guo he said, “It is only right that your honoured shifu should contend for the post. But the heroes under heaven number more than thousands upon thousands. If it is one bout after another, when will it ever end?”

Yang Guo lifted his chin. “If anyone else were Alliance Chief, my shifu would not even bother with it. But the sight of your shifu puts her out of temper.”

Huo Dou asked, “Who is your honoured shifu? Is the venerable one present?”

Yang Guo laughed. “The venerable one is right before your eyes. Hey, Aunt, he is asking after your venerable self.”

Xiaolongnü made a sound of acknowledgment and nodded at Huo Dou.

The heroes stared blankly, then roared with laughter. This girl was pretty and delicate, and looked even younger than Yang Guo. How could she possibly be his shifu? The boy was clearly making sport of Huo Dou. Only Hao Datong,⁵ Zhao Zhijing,⁶ Zhen Zhibing,⁷ and a few others knew that what he said was the truth. Even Huang Rong, for all her surpassing intelligence, would never have believed that a frail, tender girl like Xiaolongnü could be his shifu.

Huo Dou was furious. “Little brat, talking nonsense! This is a gathering of all the heroes under heaven, with countless matters of importance to attend to. We have no time for your foolery. Get out of here.”

Yang Guo said, “Your shifu is dark and ugly, and the gibberish he speaks is unbearably grating. Look at my shifu, how beautiful she is, how pure and elegant. Would she not make a far better Alliance Chief than your ugly monk of a shifu?”

Xiaolongnü, hearing Yang Guo praise her beauty, was delighted. She smiled sweetly, like a rare flower first blooming, like fine jade catching the light, radiant beyond compare.

The heroes felt that Yang Guo’s mockery of the enemy was growing bolder and bolder, and they found it immensely satisfying. Some of the more cautious elders, however, secretly worried for him, afraid that Huo Dou might suddenly strike to kill, which would surely cost the boy his life.

Sure enough, by now Huo Dou could hold himself in no longer. “Heroes of the realm, I salute you,” he cried. “If this prince kills this brat, he has brought it on himself, and this prince is not to blame.” He swung his fan, ready to bring it down on the crown of Yang Guo’s head.

Yang Guo mimicked his voice and manner, throwing out his chest and puffing out his belly. “Heroes of the realm, I salute you. If this little brat kills this prince, he has brought it on himself, and this little brat is not to blame!” Amid the roars of laughter, he suddenly swung the oar handle crosswise at Huo Dou’s backside.

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Huo Dou twisted aside. His fan jabbed slantwise while his left palm came like the wind, straight at the boy’s crown. The fan was the feint and the palm the real blow, and he put every ounce of his strength into it, meaning to dash the boy’s brains out with a single stroke. Yang Guo slipped away at an angle, shoving a square table out as he went. With a crack Huo Dou’s palm landed on the table, splinters flew, and half the table caved in. The heroes saw the terrible force of that palm and caught their breath. Huo Dou kicked the table aside and pressed on with his attack.

Seeing how vicious his palm strikes were, Yang Guo no longer dared take him lightly. He swung the oar handle and began using the Dog-Beating Staff Technique in earnest against him.

Hong Qigong had taught Yang Guo every move of the Dog-Beating Staff Technique, and on the summit of Mount Hua⁸ he had spent several days demonstrating them to Ouyang Feng,⁹ going through even the most intricate and subtle of them. He had also overheard Huang Rong passing the formulae and variations to Lu Youjiao.¹⁰ Over the better part of the day he had worked them through carefully in his own head and fitted the two together, and now he could actually wield the technique in good order. But the oar handle was far too heavy and half a length too short, awkward to use, and he had studied it too short a time to have it at his fingertips. After a dozen or so moves, Huo Dou’s fan and palms had him trapped in a corner.

Huang Rong saw that the moves he was using were indeed all Dog-Beating Staff Technique, and though they were raw and their subtleties far from realised, his stances and movements looked the part. Knowing that his weapon did not suit him, she strode out into the hall, put her staff between the two of them and said, “Guoer, to beat a dog you need a dog-beating staff. Here is Guild Chief Lu’s staff. I will lend it to you. When the vicious dog is beaten, give it straight back.” The Dog-Beating Staff was the token of the Beggars’ Guild Chief’s authority, which was why she had to make clear it was a loan. Yang Guo was overjoyed and took the bamboo staff. Huang Rong whispered in his ear, “Make him hand over the antidote,” and with that leapt back to her place.

Yang Guo had not been paying attention when Zhu Ziliu was struck by the hidden weapons and did not know what “antidote” meant. He was momentarily puzzled, but Huo Dou was already chopping at him with his palm.

Yang Guo raised the Dog-Beating Staff and jabbed at Huo Dou’s lower belly. The bamboo staff was tough and springy, its length and weight just right in his hand, and using the Dog-Beating Staff for the Dog-Beating Staff Technique naturally doubled its power. Huo Dou’s palm was chopping at his neck when he saw the bamboo staff dart out straight at the “Barrier Origin”¹¹ acupoint three inches below his navel, a vital point on the Conception Vessel meridian.¹² That so small a brat could find an acupoint so exactly gave him a start. He had tangled with Yang Guo several times now, and had always taken him for nothing more than a nimble youngster who had had some instruction from a good teacher. Only at this acupoint thrust did he begin to treat him as an opponent worth the name. He dared not take him lightly any longer, but drew back his palm, turned and brought his fan across his chest in guard. When the masters looking on saw him go over to defence, a plain sign of how wary he was of Yang Guo, they were more astonished still.

Yang Guo said, “Wait. This little brat does not fight for nothing. There must be a wager.”

Huo Dou said, “Fine. If you lose, you kowtow to me three times and call me ‘Grandfather’ three times.”

Yang Guo once more sprang the trap Jiangnan children use to score off one another, pretending not to have heard. “Call you what?” he asked. Sprung without warning, the trick catches anyone who does not know it. Huo Dou had grown up on the frontier among plain, honest folk, and what did he know of the sly games of Jiangnan urchins? “Call me Grandfather!” he answered without thinking. “Mm,” said Yang Guo, “good grandson. Say it again.” Amid the crowd’s roars of laughter, Huo Dou realised he had been had once more. He gritted his teeth and fell on Yang Guo, fan in his right hand and palm in his left, like a raging storm.

Yang Guo fought back with all his might. “If you lose,” he said, “you must give me the antidote.”

Huo Dou raged, “Me, lose to you? Stop dreaming, little beast!”

Yang Guo raised the bamboo staff. “Who is the little beast cursing?”

Huo Dou began, “The little beast is cursing…” The words were on his lips when he suddenly saw the trap, and he reined in on the very edge of the cliff, forcing the last word, “you”, back down his throat. Yang Guo laughed. “Little barbarian prince, I have taught you a trick worth knowing. Remember it.” But light as his words were, he was finding the fight harder and harder going.

Huo Dou was the State Preceptor’s favourite disciple and had already mastered the essence of the Mongolian Vajra School’s martial arts. He had fought close on a thousand moves with Zhu Ziliu, Great Master Yideng’s strongest disciple, and in depth of skill he and Yang Guo were not to be mentioned in the same breath. Early on, Yang Guo had goaded him into anger and taken the advantage that gave him, and Huo Dou had not fought him with his full strength. Now that they were fighting in earnest, after twenty-odd moves Yang Guo was plainly outclassed. But seeing one so young hold out so long, the heroes were full of praise. “That boy is something special,” they said, and asked one another whose disciple he was.

Seeing his opponent faltering, Huo Dou put more force into his palms. The Dog-Beating Staff Technique Yang Guo was using was profound and unfathomable, far beyond anything Huo Dou’s fan and palm methods could reach. But Hong Qigong had taught him only the moves, and the secret formulae he had heard from Huang Rong’s own lips only that morning. By sheer cleverness he had managed to patch the two together after a fashion, but there was no chance of mastering them fully and bringing out their power in half a day. A little longer, and Yang Guo was dodging east and ducking west, barely able to hold him off.

Guo Fu and the Wu brothers had followed the contests in the hall with rapt attention from the start, their heads together, whispering. When Yang Guo came out to fight, it took all three of them completely by surprise. The Wu brothers said he was arrogant and stupid and asking for trouble. Guo Fu, just to contradict them, praised his nerve and his quick wits, which left a sour taste in the brothers’ mouths. Earlier, when Xiaolongnü had suddenly arrived and been so intimate with Yang Guo, the two had exchanged a look and felt a great weight lift. But when they heard Yang Guo call her his shifu, true or not, their hearts sank again. Now, seeing Huo Dou drive Yang Guo into a flurry, the brothers knew they ought not to gloat over his trouble or wish the enemy to win. Yet deep in their hearts they hoped the fall he took would be as hard as possible. Hoping and fearing by turns, they swung from glad to anxious several times in as many moments.

Guo Fu felt neither liking nor dislike for Yang Guo. She simply took him for a down-and-out good-for-nothing of no account. When she heard her father talk of betrothing her to him she had been indignant for a moment, but she was sure it would never come to pass and did not dwell on it. Later, seeing that his martial arts were strong, she had merely been astonished. But now, seeing him in danger, she could not help worrying for him.

Suddenly Yang Guo swung his iron jian and shouted, “Look out! I am going to use hidden weapons!” Huo Dou had wounded Zhu Ziliu with the poison darts hidden in his own fan, and hearing this he assumed the iron jian hid weapons just as his folding fan did. No wonder the boy used a rusty jian and not a keen one. Since he himself had snatched a win by such means, his opponent could presumably do the same. Seeing Yang Guo point the iron jian at his face, Huo Dou hastily leapt to the left. But Yang Guo, his left hand in the jian seal,¹³ guided the iron jian in a thrust from the right. And where were the hidden weapons?

Footnotes

1. 江湖 – jiānghú. Literally rivers and lakes. Itinerant world beyond settled society and official reach, holding not only martial artists but the trades that travel with them, including pedlars, physicians, fortune-tellers, entertainers, boatmen, beggars, outlaws and the like. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

2. Four horses cannot overtake a word once spoken (驷不及舌). Sì Bùjí Shé. Classical Chinese proverb meaning that once words leave the mouth, even a team of four horses cannot catch them. Equivalent to “a word spoken is past recalling.” ↩

3. 洪七公 – Hóng Qīgōng. Literally Hong the Seventh Lord; the numeral seven marks seniority among sworn brothers. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

4. Han (汉). Hàn. Majority ethnic group of China, often used to refer to the Chinese people as distinct from non-Chinese peoples like the Mongols. ↩

5. 郝大通 – Hǎo Dàtōng. His name meaning “great penetration”. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

6. 赵志敬 – Zhào Zhìjìng. His name meaning “aspiring to reverence”. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

7. 甄志丙 – Zhēn Zhìbǐng. His name meaning “aspiring to the third stem”. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

8. 华山 – Huáshān. One of China’s Five Sacred Mountains, site of martial arts competitions. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

9. 欧阳锋 – Ōuyáng Fēng. His name meaning “blade” or “cutting edge”. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

10. 鲁有脚 – Lǔ Yǒujiǎo. His name meaning “having feet”. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

11. “Barrier Origin” acupoint (关元穴). Guānyuán Xué. Located three inches below the navel, a key point on the Conception Vessel meridian (renmai). Striking it can be lethal or crippling. ↩

12. 任脉 – Rèn Mài. Conception Vessel, one of the Eight Extraordinary Meridians in neigong practice. ↩

13. Jian seal (剑诀). Jiànjué. Hand gesture used in jian play, with the index and middle fingers extended and the other fingers curled, guiding the line and force of the jian. ↩