The Return of the Condor Heroes Chapter 13 – Part 3

The Diancang Fisherman had always been enormously strong. During his years attending Great Master Yideng¹ in seclusion in western Hunan,² he had rowed his boat every day with iron oars against the rushing current, until the sinews and bones of his arms were like iron. As Great Master Yideng’s eldest disciple, he had studied longest at his shifu’s side, and of the four disciples his martial arts had always ranked first. His natural gifts were poorer, though, and his neigong³ fell short of Zhu Ziliu’s, but his external hard skills⁴ were formidable in the extreme. Matching external skill against Da’erba now, he was fighting to his strength. His twin oars flew, battering straight up and straight down in a furious assault. Each iron oar weighed some fifty jin,⁵ yet he swung them as lightly and nimbly as an ordinary man swings a blade of a few jin.

Da’erba had always believed himself unmatched in strength, and had never thought to meet such a general of godlike might here in the Central Plains, a man not only immensely strong but far subtler in his moves. He threw his full strength into the vajra pestle. Pestle against oar, oar against pestle, both men attacked far more than they defended.

When Zhu Ziliu and Huo Dou fought, the heroes in the hall had already scattered out of the way of their blows. Now that three heavy weapons were clashing, the wind of them was hard enough to stand, and the din of oar striking pestle was harder still to bear. Most of the crowd watched with their hands over their ears. In the candlelight the golden pestle became a streak of golden light and the iron oars two plumes of black vapour, twining and tangling round each other.

Most of those present had never seen such a fight in their lives. More dangerous scenes there certainly were, but when masters pit their neigong against each other, the strain within is desperate while to the eye it looks quite tame. And bouts of fist, foot and weapon may outdo this one in subtlety, but fall far short of it in ferocity. Men with the Diancang Fisherman’s godlike strength were rare enough in the world, and for two men of equal strength and like skill to meet and fight so savagely was rarer still, a sight seldom seen.

Guo Jing and Huang Rong watched with palms wet with sweat. “Ronger,”⁶ said Guo Jing, “do you think we can win?” “It is too soon to tell,” said Huang Rong. Guo Jing knew perfectly well that the outcome would not be settled for some while, but he longed for his wife to say, “The Fisherman will win,” just so that his heart could rest easier.

They fought on through dozens more moves, and neither man’s strength flagged in the least. If anything, their spirits rose. The Diancang Fisherman attacked with both oars, bellowing to drive himself on. “What are you saying?” asked Da’erba. He asked it in Mongolian, which the Fisherman could not possibly understand, so he asked back, “What are you saying?” which Da’erba, naturally, did not understand either. So each of them cursed wildly and fought savagely, until splinters of tables and chairs flew all over the hall. The onlookers feared that if either of them struck a pillar by mistake, the whole hall might come crashing down.

State Preceptor Jinlun and Huo Dou were also secretly alarmed. If the battle continued at this pitch, even if Da’erba won, he would surely collapse from exhaustion or suffer grave injury. But with the fight at its fiercest, how could it be stopped?

The two men leapt and bounded, roaring as they fought, and the yellow light and black vapour pressed even the candlelight dim. Suddenly there was a crash that shook the heavens. Both men shouted at once and sprang apart. The Fisherman’s right-hand oar had met the golden pestle head-on with all the strength both men had, and the oar’s shaft, being thinner and no match for the solid pestle, had snapped in two. The blade of the oar flew off and landed with a clang right in front of Xiaolongnü.

Xiaolongnü was deep in talk with Yang Guo and noticed nothing. The oar blade smashed into the brick floor and broke a brick, and a small chip of it leapt up and struck the toes of her left foot. “Ouch,” she cried, and jumped up. Only at her cry of pain did Yang Guo come to with a start. “Are you hurt?” he asked quickly. Xiaolongnü was rubbing her toes, her face twisted with pain.

Yang Guo flew into a rage, and pity for her welled up too. First he pulled Xiaolongnü into his arms in case anyone else hurt her, then turned to find who had thrown the lump of iron that broke the brick and hurt Aunt. He saw the Diancang Fisherman, the broken oar in his right hand, arguing with Da’erba, wanting to fight on with a single oar. Da’erba kept shaking his head. He knew his opponent’s strength and skill were the equal of his own, and that if they fought again he would be hard put to win. He had come off better on weapons, so this bout counted as his.

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Huo Dou stepped forward and declared in a ringing voice, “We have won two of the three bouts. The post of Alliance Chief of the wulin⁷ therefore belongs to my shifu. Everyone…” Before he could finish, Yang Guo said to the Fisherman, “Why did your iron oar break and fly over and hurt my aunt?” “I… I…” stammered the Fisherman. “You should have made your oar sturdier,” said Yang Guo. “Go and apologise, quick.” Seeing that he was only a boy, the Fisherman paid him no attention. Yang Guo suddenly reached out, snatched the broken oar from him and shouted, “Apologise to my aunt, quick.”

His speech cut short, Huo Dou was furious. “Little beast! Clear off!” he barked.

Yang Guo called back, “Who is the little beast cursing?” Hearing “Who is the little beast cursing?”, Huo Dou answered without thinking, “The little beast is cursing you!” How was he to know that children in the south always fenced with words in exactly this way? One unwary moment, and he had fallen for it. Yang Guo roared with laughter. “Quite right, it is the little beast cursing me!” The mood in the hall had been strung tight, but at this sudden interruption from the boy the heroes all burst out laughing. Huo Dou, enraged, thrust out his folding fan and brought it down at the crown of Yang Guo’s head.

Every one of the heroes had seen just now how formidable Huo Dou was. If that fan struck Yang Guo’s head, he would be killed or gravely hurt. “Stop!” they shouted together. “No bullying the young!”

Guo Jing sprang forward, reaching to seize the fan, but Yang Guo ducked his head and slipped out under Huo Dou’s arm. Bringing the oar handle round, he used the “Entwine”⁸ formula of the Dog-Beating Staff Technique to hook Huo Dou’s foot. Huo Dou lost his footing and staggered, almost falling, but his martial arts were strong enough that he turned the fall into a leap by main force, shot up into the air and came down again steady on his feet.

Guo Jing started. “Guoer, what was that?”

Yang Guo laughed. “Nothing much. This fellow looks down on Old Guild Chief Hong’s Dog-Beating Staff Technique, so I thought I would use it to send him head over heels. Pity he got away.”

Guo Jing was astonished. “How do you know how to use it?”

Yang Guo lied, “Just now when Guild Chief Lu fought him, I watched and picked up a few moves.” Guo Jing, slow-witted himself, took it that the world was full of clever people, and believed him eight or nine parts in ten.

Huo Dou took the trip for his own carelessness. How could he imagine that a lad still in his teens had martial arts of such a high order? He thought, The contest for Alliance Chief is what matters now. There is time enough to deal with this brat when the real business is done. He strode up to Guo Jing and declared in a ringing voice, “Guo daxia,⁹ the contest today is ours. My shifu, State Preceptor Jinlun, is Alliance Chief of all the wulin under heaven. Is there anyone who does not accept it…”

Before he could finish, Yang Guo had crept up behind him. He drove the oar handle forward with the fourth formula of the Dog-Beating Staff Technique, “Jab”,¹⁰ straight at his backside. A man of Huo Dou’s martial attainment could hardly fail to sense a sneak attack from behind, but for one thing he thought nothing of Yang Guo, and for another the Dog-Beating Staff Technique really was marvellous and unfathomable. He sensed it and dodged, but was still those few inches too slow, and with a thwack it caught him squarely on the backside. For all his deep neigong, and fleshy as the buttocks are, it hurt a good deal, and it was so unexpected, when he had been sure he would dodge it and it had struck him all the same, that he let out a cry despite himself. “What do you take yourself for?” shouted Yang Guo. “I do not accept it!”

In an instant the hall was ringing with laughter. The heroes all thought, Not only is this boy a rascal, he has nerve too. Twice now the Mongol prince has fallen for his tricks.

By now how could Huo Dou not be furious? He swung a backhand slap, meaning first to box the boy’s ears and vent his spleen. Casual as the blow was, the force stored in it held the very essence of the Mongolian Vajra School’s¹¹ martial arts, and he meant it to knock the boy out cold. Guo Jing knew how dangerous it was. His left hand shot out and hooked back, and he had Huo Dou’s palm in his grip. “Sir,” he urged, “how can you take a child so seriously?” Caught in that grip, Huo Dou felt half his body go numb, and was shocked and furious at once.

Yang Guo seized the opening, swung the oar handle sideways, and landed a heavy blow on Huo Dou’s rear. “Little beast won’t listen to reason,” he called. “Daddy’s going to spank you!” Guo Jing barked, “Guoer, step back at once. No more mischief!” But the heroes were already laughing so hard they could barely stand.

The Mongol warriors all began shouting. “Two against one, is it?” “Shameless!” “Does this count as a contest?” Guo Jing started and let go of Huo Dou.

Huang Rong saw that the trip and the jab Yang Guo had just used were indeed moves of the Dog-Beating Staff Technique, and her mind filled with doubt, Where can he have stolen this staff technique from? Can he have come every day these past months to spy while I taught Lu Youjiao? But each time I taught, I checked all around. How could he have hidden from me? She called, “Jing gege, come here.” Guo Jing went back to his wife’s side, but he was afraid Yang Guo would come to harm, and his eyes never left the two in the middle of the hall.

Huo Dou was attacking Yang Guo without let-up, palms flying and feet lashing. Yang Guo dodged and shouted at the top of his voice, “Spank your bottom, spank your bottom!” and kept swinging the oar handle crosswise at Huo Dou’s backside, but now that Huo Dou had opened up his footwork, he could not land a blow, and every swing struck empty air. Huo Dou wanted to hit Yang Guo’s head with his folding fan, and Yang Guo wanted to hit Huo Dou’s backside with the iron oar handle. The two chased each other round the hall at an astonishing speed, and neither could touch the other.

At first the onlookers simply found it comic and bizarre, but after the two had gone round several times they began to marvel. Young as he was, Yang Guo was light on his feet and quick with his hands, and his qinggong¹² seemed if anything better than his opponent’s. Several times Huo Dou dashed in to strike, and each time Yang Guo deftly slipped away.

The Diancang Fisherman and Da’erba had been standing weapons in hand, glaring at each other, the one wanting to rush in and fight again, the other on full guard against a sudden attack. But when they saw that Huo Dou could do nothing with the boy, both were astonished. One split his mouth in a broad grin, and the other muttered curses in Mongolian.

In the blink of an eye Huo Dou and Yang Guo had circled three more times. Huo Dou could see by now that his opponent’s qinggong was formidable, and that if he simply chased him he might even lose. Suddenly he spun round, shot out his left palm full in Yang Guo’s face to seize the oar handle, and with the fan in his right hand jabbed at the “Leaping Circle”¹³ acupoint on the side of his thigh. This was plainly no longer the punishment of a naughty child. It was a true exchange of moves.

Yang Guo still would not meet him head-on. He turned his body aside to dodge the fan and swung the oar handle across. “Your old man’s spanking you!” he shouted. “No more than three a day. I have given you two, so I still owe you one!” To clown like this in a fight is safe only for a man far superior in martial arts to his opponent. Yang Guo had learned a good deal of high-level martial arts, but his depth of skill fell far short of his opponent’s, and such foolery should have brought certain disaster. But the heroes were enjoying themselves hugely, laughing and shouting, clapping and stamping to cheer him on. The din unsettled Huo Dou. He was terrified that before the heroes of the realm this young rascal would land one more blow on his backside, and even if he killed the little wretch there and then, the disgrace would be enormous. So he put all his mind into dodging and for the moment forgot to hit back, which was the only reason Yang Guo had come to no harm.

By now Huang Rong had long since seen that Yang Guo had been taught by a great master and that his martial arts were truly impressive. She remembered too how earlier that day he had used his neili to help her regulate her breathing, so his neigong was also out of the ordinary. She thought, Let him stir things up a while. Who knows, he may even turn the tide after two straight defeats. “Guoer,” she called out loudly, “fight him properly. I do not think he is a match for you.”

Yang Guo stuck out his tongue at Huo Dou. “Do you dare?” He planted himself and pointed at Huo Dou’s nose.

Footnotes

1. 一灯大师 – Yīdēng Dàshī. Literally one-lamp master; a Buddhist honorific title. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

2. Western Hunan (湘西). Xiāngxī. Mountainous region in western Hunan province where Great Master Yideng and his disciples lived in seclusion. ↩

3. 内功 – nèigōng. Literally internal skill. Practice of developing neili through breathing, meditation and qi cultivation. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

4. External hard-style martial arts (外门硬功). Wàimén Yìnggōng. Martial arts that focus on developing external physical strength, conditioning the body to deliver and withstand powerful blows, as opposed to neili cultivation. ↩

5. 斤 – jīn. Traditional Chinese unit of weight, approximately 500 grams or 1.1 pounds. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

6. 蓉儿 – Róng’ér. Intimate nickname for Huang Rong, with the diminutive suffix -er indicating affection or familiarity. ↩

7. Alliance Chief of the wulin (武林盟主). Wǔlín Méngzhǔ. Elected leader of the wulin, chosen at a grand assembly to unite all its schools against a common threat. This title is the central conflict of the chapter. ↩

8. 缠字诀 – Chán Zì Jué. One of the eight formulae of the Dog-Beating Staff Technique, using coiling motions. ↩

9. 大侠 – dàxiá. Literally great xia. Honorific for a martial artist of great renown and chivalrous conduct. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

10. “Jab” formula (戳字诀). Chuō Zìjué. Another of the eight core Dog-Beating Staff Technique formulae, using sharp, probing thrusts. ↩

11. 金刚宗 – Jīngāng Zōng. Vajra (Diamond/Thunderbolt) school of Esoteric Buddhism, known for distinctive martial arts including the Dragon-Elephant Prajna Skill. ↩

12. 轻功 – qīnggōng. Literally lightness skill. Martial art of body lightness; practitioners leap great heights and move with extraordinary speed. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

13. “Leaping Circle” acupoint (环跳穴). Huántiào Xué. Acupoint on the lateral thigh, part of the Gallbladder meridian. Striking it can disable leg movement. ↩