The Return of the Condor Heroes Chapter 12 – Part 4

After the midday meal, the Beggars’ Guild members assembled in the grove outside Lu Manor. The transfer of leadership from old chief to new was the clan’s most solemn ceremony. Senior disciples from every direction, east, south, west, and north, were all in attendance. The heroes who had come to Lu Manor for the Hero Assembly were also invited to observe.

For more than ten years, Lu Youjiao had managed the clan’s affairs on Huang Rong’s behalf, fair, upright, daring in action. Both the Dirty Clothes and Clean Clothes factions¹ of the Beggars’ Guild held him in genuine respect. By this time, Elder Jian of the Clean Clothes faction had passed away, Elder Liang was long confined to his sickbed, and Elder Peng had turned traitor. There was no one left in the clan to contest the succession. The transfer proceeded without a hitch. After Huang Rong announced the succession according to the clan’s rules, she handed the Dog-Beating Staff, passed down through generations of chiefs, to Lu Youjiao. The assembled disciples spat upon him, drenching his head, his face, his whole body with spittle. With that, the new chief’s investiture was complete. The guests offered their congratulations.

Yang Guo found the peculiar rituals of the chief’s succession deeply strange. He was just about to rise and announce the news of Hong Qigong’s death when an old beggar leapt onto a large rock and cried out loudly, “Old Chief Hong has issued an order, which he commanded me to relay!”

At these words, the clan members burst into a single, thunderous cheer. They had received no word of their old chief for more than ten years and worried about him constantly. To suddenly hear that he had sent an order, every one of them was wild with joy. From the crowd, a beggar shouted, “We wish Old Chief Hong long life and good health!” All the beggars roared in unison. The sound shook heaven and earth. Wave after wave of cheers rose and fell, taking a long time to subside.

Yang Guo watched the beggars, every one of them stirred to the core, some with tears streaming down their faces. He thought, To be such a man, only then is a life not lived in vain. But with the crowd in such high spirits, how can I bear to tell them that Old Chief Hong has passed away? Besides, I am a nobody with a weak voice. If I tried to announce something of this magnitude, they might not even believe me. The assembly would dissolve into a chaos of argument, and what good would that do? Why spoil their joy? He thought further, If they ask how Old Chief Hong died, I cannot conceal the fact that my sworn father fought him. The Wu brothers know I learned the Toad Skill² from my sworn father, how could they resist telling everyone? With so many beggars here, they would surely suspect that I helped my sworn father and together we killed Old Chief Hong. Then I would have a hundred mouths and still be unable to defend myself. Better to wait until the assembly is over, then tell Auntie Guo everything in detail and let her relay the news. He silently congratulated himself that the old beggar had spoken first. If he himself had blurted out the news without thinking, it would surely have stirred up serious trouble.

The old beggar was saying, “Half a year ago, in Shixing County, Shaozhou, in Guangnan East Circuit,³ I met Old Chief Hong and had the honour of drinking with him. His health is excellent, his appetite is superb, and his capacity for liquor is exactly the same as before.” The beggars burst into another great cheer, mixed with abundant laughter. The old beggar continued, “All these years, the Old Chief has killed many a corrupt official and wicked tyrant who brought ruin to the nation and suffering to the people. He said he had just received word of five great villains called the Five Uglies of the Sichuan Border,⁴ who, under orders from the Mongol barbarians, have been committing all manner of evil in eastern Sichuan and the Huguang⁵ region. He was going to investigate personally. If the report proved true, he would naturally take those five dogs’ lives.”

A middle-aged beggar rose and said, “The Five Uglies of the Sichuan Border were indeed rampaging not long ago, but their movements were erratic, and our brothers in western Sichuan could never track them down. Recently, however, they have vanished without a trace. Old Chief Hong must have dealt with them.”

The Beggars’ Guild disciples and the assembled heroes all applauded. Yang Guo’s heart was heavy. None of you know that after Old Chief Hong and my sworn father beat the Five Uglies into cripples, those two great men soon after departed this world.

The old beggar continued, “Old Chief Hong said: The realm is in chaos, and the Mongol barbarians press south day by day, devouring our Great Song’s⁶ territory. Every member of our clan must hold loyalty and righteousness⁷ in his heart, vow to fight to the death, and resist the foreign invaders with all his might.” The beggars roared their assent, their expressions fierce with passion.

The old beggar said, “The court’s governance is corrupt, and wicked ministers hold sway. To expect those stinking officials to protect the nation and its people is impossible. The foreign threat deepens with every passing day. Every man must harbour a heart willing to sacrifice himself for his country. Old Chief Hong commands me to exhort all my good brothers to engrave the words ‘loyalty and righteousness’ upon their hearts.” The beggars thundered their response, shouting in unison: “We vow to obey Old Chief Hong’s command!”

Yang Guo had lacked proper instruction since childhood and did not understand what profound significance the words “loyalty and righteousness” carried. But seeing the beggars’ righteous dignity, he was deeply stirred and filled with admiration.

The remainder of the Beggars’ Guild assembly dealt with internal matters, rewards and punishments, promotions and demotions. Guests from outside the clan were not privy to these affairs and took their leave one after another.

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By evening, Lu Manor was ablaze with lanterns and coloured streamers, candles blazing brilliantly. In the main hall, the front hall, the rear hall, the side halls, the flower hall, more than two hundred tables had been laid out. The better part of all the renowned heroes of the jianghu were in attendance. A Hero Assembly on this scale was a rare event, seen perhaps once in several decades. Only a host of boundless connections, universally respected, and possessed of ample wealth to bear such enormous expense could possibly have drawn so many wulin luminaries.

Guo Jing and Huang Rong accompanied the principal guests in the main hall. Huang Rong arranged Yang Guo’s seat right beside her own. Guo Fu and the Wu brothers were seated far away.

At first, Guo Fu found this strange. This man does not know martial arts. Why would Mother seat him in such a place of honour? Then a sudden thought chilled her heart. Oh no. Father said he wanted to betroth me to him. Could it be that Mother has agreed? The more she thought, the more frightened she became. She remembered how, just now, she had seen her mother holding Yang Guo’s hand as they walked, the two of them looking so close. And she knew that her father and mother shared deep mutual respect. If Father insisted on this, Mother would not refuse. She glanced sideways at Yang Guo, anxious and angry in equal measure. How can I marry this little beggar? She was on the verge of tears.

Just then, Wu Xiuwen said, “Sister Fu, look, that fellow surnamed Yang is sitting here too. What kind of hero does he think he is?”

Guo Fu said huffily, “If you are so capable, go and chase him away!”

The Wu brothers had originally regarded Yang Guo with nothing more than contempt, but after overhearing Guo Jing in the tree say he intended to betroth his daughter to Yang Guo, their attitude had hardened into open hostility. Wu Xiuwen, hearing Guo Fu’s words, thought, Why not go and humiliate him thoroughly? Make him lose face in front of all these heroes. Our teacher’s wife has always been fiercely proud. If this fellow Yang suffers a great humiliation in public, she will never accept him as a son-in-law.

He had just learned the Yiyang Finger from his shibo and was eager to try it out. “Since he wants to pass himself off as a hero,” he said, “let us give him a chance to shine, let him show his face in a big way.” He rose, filled two cups of wine to the brim, walked over to Yang Guo, and said, “Brother Yang, these past years must have treated you well. Let me offer you a toast.”

Yang Guo saw Wu Xiuwen glancing repeatedly back at Guo Fu with a sly expression. His intentions were clearly not friendly. He is coming to offer me wine, Yang Guo thought. There must be a trick. He would not dare poison it, but I must guard against drugging. He rose, accepted the cup, and said, “Thank you.” He touched it to his lips without drinking.

At that moment, Wu Xiuwen suddenly thrust out the index finger of his right hand toward Yang Guo’s waist. His body shielded the gesture from the view of others. The finger was aimed at Yang Guo’s “Laughing Waist” acupoint.⁸ His shibo had told him that when the Yiyang Finger struck a person’s Laughing Waist point, the victim would laugh and shout uncontrollably, and unless the point was released, the laughter would never stop.

But Yang Guo had been on full alert from the start. How could he fall for such a sneak attack? In truth, even if the ambush had come completely without warning, with his current martial arts, he would never have been caught. By his usual temper, Yang Guo never suffered the slightest loss without retaliating fiercely, he would have thrown Wu Xiuwen to the ground or struck his own Laughing Waist point in return. But after his conversation with Huang Rong today, his heart was light and at peace. He thought, You may pick a fight with me, but you are still Uncle Guo and Auntie Guo’s disciple. I will not stoop to your level. He secretly circulated the neili that Ouyang Feng had taught him, and in an instant, all the meridians throughout his body reversed direction. Every acupoint shifted position. However, since he was not standing upside down on his head, and his mastery of this technique was still shallow, his meridians could only remain reversed for a brief moment, one breath in, one breath out, and they would revert. To reverse them a second time, he would need to circulate his neili again. But that one brief moment was enough to render Wu Xiuwen’s finger strike completely useless.

After striking with his finger, Wu Xiuwen saw Yang Guo merely smile faintly and return to his seat without the slightest reaction. Greatly puzzled, Wu Xiuwen went back to his own table and whispered, “Brother, why did our shibo’s technique not work?”

Wu Dunru asked, “What do you mean, not work?”

Wu Xiuwen explained what had happened. Wu Dunru sneered. “You must have pointed wrong, or misjudged the acupoint.”

Wu Xiuwen said anxiously, “How could I be wrong? Look.” He extended his finger and mimed striking toward his brother’s waist. The posture and force were exactly as their shibo had taught.

Guo Fu pursed her lips. “And here I thought the Yiyang Finger was something remarkable. Hmph. It seems it is nothing much after all.” She was already displeased that the Wu brothers had learned the Yiyang Finger while she had not, even though she knew they would certainly teach her later.

Wu Dunru abruptly stood. He too filled two cups of wine and walked over to Yang Guo. “Brother Yang, we brothers have not seen you in years. Now that we meet again, let me also offer you a toast.”

Yang Guo laughed inwardly. Your younger brother has already shown his hand. Let us see what clever trick the elder brother has. He picked up a large piece of beef with his chopsticks, not bothering to put it down. With his left hand, he accepted the cup. “Thank you,” he said, smiling.

Wu Dunru did not even bother with pretence. His right arm shot out, his sleeve whipping through the air, his finger thrusting swiftly toward Yang Guo’s waist. Yang Guo saw the ferocity of the strike and knew his own skill in the meridian-reversal technique was limited, he might not be able to withstand it. This time, he did not reverse his meridians. Instead, he dropped his arm and placed the large piece of beef directly over his Laughing Waist point. His movement came after Wu Dunru’s but arrived first, and Wu Dunru never noticed a thing. His finger shot forward and struck, squarely into the beef.

Yang Guo set down his chopsticks and smiled. “After the wine, a bite of beef is best.”

Wu Dunru raised his hand. There, impaled on his fingers, was a great slab of beef, dripping with juice. He could neither hold it nor throw it away. Thoroughly discomfited, he glared fiercely at Yang Guo and strode back to his seat.

Guo Fu saw him clutching a large piece of beef and found it very strange. “What is that?” she asked.

Wu Dunru’s face flushed crimson. He could not find words to answer.

Just as he stood there in embarrassment, the Beggars’ Guild’s new chief, Lu Youjiao, raised his wine cup and stood.

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He lifted his cup in a toast to the assembled heroes and declared in a ringing voice, “Our clan’s Old Chief Hong has sent word that the Mongol invasion of the south grows more urgent by the day. He commands every member of our clan to give their utmost, even their lives, in resisting the foreign threat. Now, with all the heroes of the realm gathered here, every heart filled with loyalty and righteousness, we must devise a sound strategy to keep the Mongol barbarians from daring to invade our Great Song’s territory.”

The heroes rose one after another, each adding their voice in assent. Most of those who had come to the Hero Assembly were men of hot blood. They had long watched with deepening worry as the nation’s affairs deteriorated and catastrophe loomed on the horizon. When someone finally raised the matter, these loyal heroes responded as an echo answers a sound.

An old man with a silvery beard rose to his feet. His voice boomed like a great bell. “With all us heroes gathered here today, we should swear a blood oath and form an alliance to resist the foreign enemy together. We shall call it the ‘Resist the Mongols and Defend the Nation Alliance.’⁹ As the saying goes, a snake without a head cannot crawl. We may have hearts full of loyalty, but without a leader, great things cannot be accomplished. With all the heroes present, let us elect one man of exalted virtue and universal respect to lead us, and let everyone obey his commands.”

Footnotes

1. Dirty Clothes and Clean Clothes Factions (污衣派/净衣派). Two internal factions of the Beggars’ Guild. Dirty Clothes faction maintains traditional beggar appearance; the Clean Clothes faction wears ordinary clothing. ↩

2. 蛤蟆功 – Hámá Gōng. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

3. Guangnan East Circuit (广南东路). Song dynasty administrative region roughly corresponding to modern Guangdong province. ↩

4. Five Ugly Men of Sichuan (川边五丑). Five martial artists from the Sichuan border region, known for their villainy. “ugliness” in their name refers more to their evil conduct than their physical appearance. Hong Qigong has been tracking them to eliminate them all at once. ↩

5. Huguang (湖广). Historical province encompassing present-day Hubei and Hunan. ↩

6. Great Song (大宋). Song dynasty (960–1279), the Han Chinese empire facing Mongol invasion from the north. ↩

7. Loyalty and Righteousness (忠义). Core Confucian virtues. Zhong (忠) is loyalty to one’s country and sovereign; yi (义) is righteousness, justice, and honour-bound duty. ↩

8. Laughing Waist acupoint (笑腰穴). Acupuncture point that, when struck with the Yiyang Finger, causes uncontrollable laughter until the point is released. ↩

9. Resist the Mongols and Defend the Nation Alliance (抗蒙保国盟). Patriotic alliance proposed at the Hero Assembly to unite the jianghu against the Mongol invasion. ↩