The Return of the Condor Heroes Chapter 12 – Part 4

After the midday meal, the members of the Beggars’ Guild gathered in the woods outside Lu Family Manor. The handing over of office from the old Guild Chief to the new is the Guild’s most solemn ceremony, and its senior disciples from every quarter, east, south, west and north, had all come. The heroes who had come to Lu Family Manor for the Hero Assembly were invited to watch as well.

For more than ten years Lu Youjiao had run the Guild’s affairs on Huang Rong’s behalf, fair and upright, bold in decision and bold in action, and the Dirty Clothes and Clean Clothes factions¹ of the Beggars’ Guild alike respected him with all their hearts. By now Elder Jian of the Clean Clothes faction had died, Elder Liang had long been bedridden and Elder Peng had turned traitor, so there was no one else in the Guild to contest the succession, and it went through as a matter of course. When Huang Rong had made the announcement as the Guild’s rules required, she handed Lu Youjiao the Dog-Beating Staff passed down from Guild Chief to Guild Chief, and the disciples spat on him until his head and face, his chest and his back, were all covered in phlegm. With that, the new Guild Chief’s installation was complete, and the guests crowded round to offer their congratulations.

Yang Guo thought the ceremony of the handover very strange. He was just about to stand up and announce the news of Hong Qigong’s death when an old beggar leapt onto a big rock and cried out, “Old Guild Chief Hong has issued an order and charged me to pass it on.”

At these words the Guild’s members burst into a single great cheer. They had heard nothing of their old Guild Chief for more than ten years and had often worried about him, so the news that an order had come from him sent every one of them wild with joy. A beggar in the crowd shouted, “Good health to Old Guild Chief Hong!” and the whole crowd of beggars took up the cry until it truly shook heaven and earth. The shouting rose and fell, wave upon wave, and only died away after a long while.

Yang Guo saw that every one of the beggars was stirred, and some had tears streaming down their faces. He thought, If a man can earn this, then he hasn’t lived in vain. But with everyone so happy, how can I bear to tell them Old Guild Chief Hong is dead? Besides, I’m a nobody, and a nobody’s word counts for little. If I announce something this grave, they may not even believe me. The whole assembly will be talking at once and in uproar, and that will do no good. Why spoil their joy? Then he thought further, If they ask how Old Guild Chief Hong died, I can’t hide the fact that my sworn father fought him. The Wu brothers know I learnt the Toad Skill² from my sworn father, so how could they not tell? All these beggars are bound to suspect I helped my sworn father and that we killed Old Guild Chief Hong between us, and then I could have a hundred mouths and still not clear myself. Better to wait until the assembly is over, tell Auntie Guo everything in detail and let her pass it on. He thanked his luck that the old beggar had stepped forward first. Had he spoken out without thinking, he would surely have stirred up serious trouble.

The old beggar was saying, “Half a year ago I met Old Guild Chief Hong in Shixing Commandery, Shaozhou, in Guangnan East Circuit,³ and kept the old gentleman company over a drink. He’s hale and hearty, his appetite’s excellent, and he holds his wine just as well as ever.” The beggars cheered loudly again, with a good deal of laughter mixed in. The old beggar went on, “All these years the old Guild Chief has been killing off dog-officials and local tyrants who bring ruin on the country and misery on the people. He said he had just heard that five great villains calling themselves the Five Uglies of the Sichuan Border⁴ had been doing a great deal of evil in eastern Sichuan and Huguang⁵ on the orders of the Mongol barbarians. He was going to look into it himself, and if it were true, he’d naturally take those five dogs’ lives.”

A middle-aged beggar stood up. “The Five Uglies of the Sichuan Border were running riot for a while, but they never stayed in one place, and we brothers in western Sichuan could never find them. Lately they’ve vanished all of a sudden. The old Guild Chief must have done for them.”

The disciples of the Beggars’ Guild and the heroes watching all applauded. Yang Guo felt a pang of sorrow, and thought, How could any of you know that after Old Guild Chief Hong and my sworn father crippled the Five Uglies, both of them left this world soon afterwards?

The old beggar went on, “Old Guild Chief Hong said, ‘The world is in turmoil, and every day the Mongol barbarians press further south, eating into our Great Song’s⁶ lands like silkworms at a leaf. Every member of our Guild must keep loyalty and righteousness⁷ in his heart, swear to fight the enemy to the death and strain every sinew to keep the invaders out.’” The beggars answered as one, their faces burning with fervour.

The old beggar said, “The court is in disarray and treacherous ministers hold power. Count on those stinking officials to protect the country and its people? It can’t be done. Now that the danger from outside grows worse by the day, every man must be ready to give his life for his country. Old Guild Chief Hong told me to urge all you good brothers to hold fast to two words, ‘loyalty’ and ‘righteousness’.” The beggars roared their answer and shouted as one, “We swear to obey Old Guild Chief Hong’s teaching to the death.”

Yang Guo had had no proper upbringing as a child and had no idea how much was bound up in the words “loyalty and righteousness”, but the stern righteousness of the beggars stirred him deeply, and he felt a great respect for them.

The rest of the Beggars’ Guild assembly was given over to the Guild’s own business, rewards and punishments, promotions and demotions, which it was not proper for guests from outside the Guild to hear, and they took their leave one after another.

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By evening, Lu Family Manor was hung with lanterns and bunting inside and out, its candles blazing. In the main hall, the front hall, the rear hall, the side halls and the flower hall, more than two hundred tables had been laid in all, and more than half the famous heroes and men of valour under heaven had come to the feast. A Hero Assembly like this was a grand occasion seen once in several decades. Unless the host had friends far and wide and was admired by all, and was rich enough besides to bear so vast an expense, he could never have brought together so many of the wulin’s heroes.

Guo Jing and Huang Rong kept the chief guests company in the main hall. Huang Rong had Yang Guo seated right beside her, while Guo Fu and the Wu brothers were placed far off.

At first Guo Fu thought it rather odd, He doesn’t know martial arts. Why has Mother given him such a good seat? Then another thought struck her, and her heart went cold. Oh no, this is bad. Father said he wanted to marry me to him. Can Mother have given in to him? The more she thought about it, the more frightened she became. She remembered seeing her mother just now leading Yang Guo by the hand, the two of them looking so close, and she knew how much her parents respected each other. If her father insisted, her mother would hardly refuse. She looked sidelong at Yang Guo, anxious and angry at once, and thought, How can I marry this little beggar? She was close to tears.

Just then Wu Xiuwen said, “Sister Fu, look, that Yang brat is sitting here too. What sort of hero is he supposed to be?”

“If you’re so clever,” Guo Fu said in a huff, “go and throw him out!”

The Wu brothers had always looked down on Yang Guo, but no more than that. After hearing Guo Jing say from the tree that he meant to marry his daughter to him, they had grown openly hostile. At Guo Fu’s words Wu Xiuwen thought, Why don’t I go and shame him properly, make him look a real fool in front of all these heroes? Shimu⁸ has always been proud and hates to lose. If this Yang fellow comes a cropper in front of everyone, she’ll never want him for a son-in-law.

He had just learnt the Yiyang Finger from his shibo,⁹ and here was the very chance to try it out. “Since he wants to pass himself off as a hero,” he said, “let’s give him his moment and let him really show his face.” He stood up, filled two cups to the brim, went over to Yang Guo and said, “Big Brother Yang, you must have done very nicely for yourself these past few years. Let me drink to you.”

Yang Guo saw Wu Xiuwen keep glancing back at Guo Fu with a sly look on his face, plainly up to no good, and thought, If he’s come over to toast me, he’s got some trick up his sleeve. He wouldn’t dare poison the wine, but I’d better watch out for a knockout drug. He stood up, took the cup and said, “Thank you,” then touched it to his lips without drinking.

At that very moment Wu Xiuwen jabbed the forefinger of his right hand at Yang Guo’s waist. He had shielded the move from the others’ eyes with his body, and the finger was aimed at Yang Guo’s Laughing Waist acupoint.¹⁰ His shibo had told him that if the Yiyang Finger struck an enemy’s Laughing Waist acupoint, the man would laugh and shout and, until the point was released, never stop laughing.

But Yang Guo had been on his guard all along. How could a sneak attack like that catch him? In truth, even had it come without the least warning, with the martial arts he had now he could never have been caught. Had he been his usual self, never willing to come off worst in anything, he would have hit back hard, either throwing Wu Xiuwen to the floor or jabbing his Laughing Waist acupoint in return. But after his talk with Huang Rong that day he was happy, easy and at peace, and he thought, You may have it in for me, but you’re still Uncle Guo and Auntie Guo’s disciple, so I won’t stoop to your level. He quietly worked the neigong Ouyang Feng had taught him, and in an instant every meridian in his body ran in reverse and every acupoint shifted out of place. But he was not standing on his head, and his mastery of the skill was still shallow, so his meridians could stay reversed only a moment. After one breath in and one breath out they ran true again, and he would have to work the neigong afresh to reverse them a second time. Yet that one brief moment was enough to make Wu Xiuwen’s strike quite useless.

Having struck, Wu Xiuwen saw Yang Guo merely smile faintly and sit back down without the least sign of anything amiss. Thoroughly puzzled, he went back to his own table. “Brother,” he whispered, “why didn’t the skill Shibo taught us work?”

“What do you mean, didn’t work?” said Wu Dunru.

Wu Xiuwen told him what had happened. Wu Dunru gave a cold laugh. “You must have struck wrong, or missed the acupoint.”

“How could I have struck wrong?” said Wu Xiuwen anxiously. “Look.” He thrust out his finger and made as if to jab his brother in the waist. The stance and the force were exactly as their shibo had taught them, to the last hair.

Guo Fu pouted. “And I thought the Yiyang Finger was something marvellous. Hmph! It doesn’t look much use to me.” She was already put out that the Wu brothers had learnt the Yiyang Finger and she had not, even though she knew they were sure to teach it to her later.

Wu Dunru sprang to his feet, filled two cups of wine as well and went over to Yang Guo. “Big Brother Yang, we brothers haven’t seen you for years. Now that we’ve met again, let me drink to you too.”

Yang Guo laughed to himself, Your younger brother’s already shown what he can do. Let’s see what clever move the elder brother has. He had a big piece of beef pinched in his chopsticks, and without putting it down he took the cup in his left hand. “Thank you,” he said with a smile.

Wu Dunru did not bother to hide it at all. His right arm shot out, his sleeve whipping up a gust, and his finger stabbed fast at Yang Guo’s waist. Yang Guo saw how vicious the strike was. He had learnt only a little of the art of reversing the meridians and might not withstand it, so this time he did not reverse them. Instead he let his arm drop and held the big piece of beef over his Laughing Waist acupoint. He moved second but got there first, and Wu Dunru noticed nothing. His forefinger stabbed in and drove straight into the beef.

Yang Guo put down his chopsticks and smiled. “After wine, there’s nothing like a piece of beef.”

Wu Dunru raised his hand and found his five fingers clutching a great slab of beef, dripping with juice. He could not well hold on to it, and could not well throw it away. Thoroughly discomfited, he glared at Yang Guo and hurried back to his seat.

Guo Fu saw the great piece of beef in his hand and was very puzzled. “What’s that?” she asked.

Wu Dunru went red in the face and could find no answer.

While he stood there squirming, the new Guild Chief of the Beggars’ Guild, Lu Youjiao, rose to his feet with his wine cup raised.

He drank a toast to the assembled heroes and said in a ringing voice, “Old Guild Chief Hong of our Guild has sent word that the Mongols’ push south grows more pressing by the day, and has ordered every member of our Guild to fight to the death to keep out the invaders. Now that the heroes of the realm are gathered here, each with loyalty and righteousness in his heart, we must agree on a sound plan, so that the Mongol barbarians dare not come against our Great Song’s land.”

The heroes rose one after another, all speaking at once and all in agreement. Most of those who had come to the Hero Assembly were men of hot blood. They had watched the nation’s affairs go from bad to worse and disaster draw near, and had long been sick with worry, so when someone raised the matter, these loyal men of valour answered like an echo answering a voice.

An old man with a silver beard rose to his feet, his voice booming like a great bell. “Since we heroes are gathered here today, we should swear an alliance in blood and resist the foreign enemy together. Let us form a ‘Resist the Mongols and Defend the Nation Alliance’.¹¹ As the saying goes, a snake without a head cannot move. All our loyal ardour will come to nothing without someone to lead us, and great things will never be done. With all the heroes here today, let us choose a man of valour, high in virtue and renown, whom everyone respects, to lead us, and let us all obey his commands.”

Footnotes

1. Dirty Clothes and Clean Clothes Factions (污衣派/净衣派). Two internal factions of the Beggars’ Guild. Dirty Clothes faction maintains traditional beggar appearance; the Clean Clothes faction wears ordinary clothing. ↩

2. 蛤蟆功 – Hámá Gōng. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

3. Guangnan East Circuit (广南东路). Song dynasty administrative region roughly corresponding to modern Guangdong province. ↩

4. 川边五丑 – Chuānbiān Wǔ Chǒu. Literally the five ugly ones of the Sichuan border. Five villains of the Sichuan border region; the “ugliness” of their name refers more to their conduct than their looks. ↩

5. Huguang (湖广). Historical province encompassing present-day Hubei and Hunan. ↩

6. Great Song (大宋). Song dynasty (960–1279), the Han Chinese empire facing Mongol invasion from the north. ↩

7. Loyalty and Righteousness (忠义). Core Confucian virtues. Zhong (忠) is loyalty to one’s country and sovereign; yi (义) is righteousness, justice, and honour-bound duty. ↩

8. 师母 – shīmǔ. The wife of one’s shifu. Shī means teacher. Mǔ means mother. ↩

9. 师伯 – shībó. Senior lineage uncle. Shixiong or shijie of one’s shifu. Shī means teacher. Bó means father’s elder brother. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

10. Laughing Waist acupoint (笑腰穴). Acupuncture point that, when struck with the Yiyang Finger, causes uncontrollable laughter until the point is released. ↩

11. Resist the Mongols and Defend the Nation Alliance (抗蒙保国盟). Patriotic alliance proposed at the Hero Assembly to unite the jianghu against the Mongol invasion. ↩