The Legend of the Condor Heroes Chapter 19 – Part 6

The three of them were peerless fighters, and as they dodged this way and that among the encircling sharks, not one of them was hurt, while every time one of them struck, a shark was killed or wounded. As soon as a shark bled, in the blink of an eye its fellows had torn it apart until nothing was left but a heap of white bones. Bold as their great skill made them, the sight set all three trembling. There were more sharks around them than could be counted, far too many ever to kill, and in the end their luck was bound to run out. But in the thick of the fight they put all their strength into it and had no time to think of anything else. Palm struck, dao hacked, fist pounded and staff battered. In less than a shichen¹ they had killed over two hundred sharks. Mist was rising all over the sea, and the sun was slowly sinking towards the waves in the west.

Zhou Botong² called out, “Old Beggar, Brother Guo, once it gets dark, the three of us will go into the sharks’ bellies a piece at a time. Let’s have a bet on which of us gets eaten first.”

Hong Qigong³ said, “Does being eaten first count as winning or losing?”

Zhou Botong said, “Winning, of course.”

Hong Qigong said, “Aiyo, then I’d sooner lose.” He struck backhanded with Divine Dragon Sweeps Its Tail⁴ and caught a great shark in the flank. It weighed a good two hundred jin,⁵ but his palm force carried it up out of the sea, and it turned two somersaults in the air before it came down with a splash that sent the water flying, and lay white belly up, dead.

Zhou Botong cried in admiration, “Fine palmwork! I’ll take you as my shifu, and you can teach me these Eighteen Palms of Shark-Subduing. Only there’s no time left to learn them, more’s the pity. Old Beggar, are you betting or not?”

Hong Qigong laughed. “You’ll have to excuse me.”

Zhou Botong gave a great laugh and asked Guo Jing,⁶ “Brother, are you afraid?”

Guo Jing was in truth terrified, but seeing the other two grow calmer as they fought, treating life and death as a jest, his spirits lifted. He said, “I was very afraid before. I’m better now.”

Suddenly a huge shark, fins spread and tail lashing, came charging at him.

Seeing the beast’s ferocious approach, Guo Jing turned sideways and raised his left hand in a feint. The shark took the bait and leapt half out of the water, darting like a flying shuttle to bite at his left hand. Guo Jing’s right hand drove the golden dao⁷ into its throat, below the mouth. The shark was still leaping upward, and the force of its rise drew the dao down its belly in one long slit. Blood gushed out like a spring, and its innards spilled out.

By now Zhou Botong and Hong Qigong had each killed another shark. Zhou Botong, still unwell from Huang Yaoshi’s⁸ palm strike, had been fighting hard for some time, and his chest began to ache fiercely. He gave a great laugh and called, “Old Beggar, Brother Guo, I’ll have to leave you, I’m going on ahead into a shark’s belly! Ah, you two wouldn’t bet, so even though I’ve won, it doesn’t count.”

Guo Jing heard the laughter in his voice, but beneath it lay a note of disappointment. He said, “Very well, I’ll bet with you!”

Zhou Botong was delighted. “Now that makes dying fun!” As he turned to dodge two sharks coming at him from both sides, he suddenly saw white sails spread high in the distance. Through the evening haze a great ship came cutting through the waves. Hong Qigong saw it too. It was Ouyang Feng’s⁹ ship. The three of them were overjoyed at the rescue. Guo Jing moved close to Zhou Botong and helped him fend off the sharks.

In the time it takes to eat a meal, the great ship drew near. Two small boats were lowered and the three men were pulled aboard. Zhou Botong was still vomiting blood, but he kept up his banter, cursing at the sharks in the sea.

Ouyang Feng and Ouyang Ke¹⁰ stood at the bow to welcome them. Gazing far out over the sea, they saw nothing but sharks, fins working, coming and going everywhere, and they could not help being appalled themselves.

Zhou Botong would not admit defeat. “Old Venom, you came to rescue us, but I never called for help, so it doesn’t count as you saving my life.”

Ouyang Feng said, “Naturally it doesn’t. And I am very sorry to have spoiled the pleasure you three were taking in killing sharks today.”

Zhou Botong laughed, “That’s fine. You spoiled our fun, but saved us from playing inside shark bellies. We’re even. No one owes anyone anything.”

Ouyang Ke and the snake slaves baited iron hooks with great chunks of beef and fished for sharks. In moments they had hauled up seven or eight great sharks.

Hong Qigong pointed at the sharks and laughed. “Well, you couldn’t eat us, so now you’ll have to let us eat you.”

Ouyang Ke laughed, “I have a notion that will avenge you, Uncle Hong.” He ordered men to cut several thick wooden stakes, then used iron spears to pry open the sharks’ jaws and wedge the stakes between their upper and lower lips. The living sharks were tossed back into the sea.

Zhou Botong laughed. “That way they can never eat anything again, but they won’t die for a good ten days.”

Guo Jing thought, What a vicious trick, and trust him to think of it. Leaving those greedy sharks to starve to death alive in the sea, what a terrible way to go.

Zhou Botong saw the displeasure on his face and laughed. “Brother, you don’t like the look of this nasty trick, do you? That’s what they mean when they say a venomous uncle is sure to have a venomous nephew!”

Ouyang Feng, the Western Venom, had never taken offence when others called his methods vicious, and was rather pleased by it. Hearing what Zhou Botong said, he smiled faintly. “Old Wild Child, this little game is nothing beside Old Venom’s real skill. These little sharks had the three of you gasping for breath, but to my humble mind, many as they are, they’re nothing much.” He stretched out his right hand and swept it across in front of his chest, from left to right, over the sea. “Were there ten times as many sharks in the sea, Old Venom could wipe them out at one stroke, and it would cost him no more than the lifting of a hand.”

Zhou Botong said, “Ha! That’s a mighty big boast, Old Venom. If you can really work such wonders and kill every shark in the sea, Old Wild Child will kowtow to you and call you Grandpa three hundred times.”

Ouyang Feng said, “I wouldn’t dare accept that. But if you don’t believe me, why don’t the two of us have a bet?”

Zhou Botong shouted, “Fine, fine. I’d even dare to bet our heads.”

Hong Qigong grew suspicious, thinking, However great his powers, he can’t kill thousands upon thousands of sharks. I’m afraid he has some other scheme.

Ouyang Feng laughed, “A bet on heads isn’t necessary. If I win, I’ll ask you to do something for me, and you may not refuse. If I lose, I’ll do whatever difficult thing you ask. Agreed?”

Zhou Botong shouted, “Bet whatever you like!”

Ouyang Feng turned to Hong Qigong. “I’ll trouble Seventh Brother to serve as witness.”

Hong Qigong nodded. “Good! But if the winner’s demand is something the loser cannot do, or refuses to do, then what?”

Zhou Botong said, “Then the loser jumps into the sea and feeds the sharks.”

Ouyang Feng smiled faintly and said nothing. He ordered a man to bring a small cup. He let the two snakes out of his snake staff,¹¹ and with two fingers of his right hand pinched one of the strange snakes behind the head. Its mouth gaped open, and at once venom welled from the tips of its fangs. Ouyang Feng held the cup beneath it. In moments, venom black as lacquer and thick as ink filled the cup halfway. He released the first serpent and seized the second, repeating the process until the cup was full. The two serpents, having spent their venom, coiled around the staff’s head and lay still, as though exhausted.

Ouyang Feng ordered a shark hauled up and laid on the deck. With his left hand he seized the fish’s snout and lifted, while his right foot pressed down on its lower jaw, forcing the mouth open. The shark was nearly twenty feet long, and forced thus, its jaws gaped wide, revealing two rows of dagger-teeth. Ouyang Feng poured the cup of venom into the torn corner of the fish’s mouth where the hook had pierced it. His left hand shifted in a flash to a palm beneath its belly, and with a casual flick he sent a shark of two hundred jin flying. Spray erupted as it fell back into the sea.

Zhou Botong laughed. “Aha, I’ve got it. This is the old monk’s wonderful cure for bedbugs.”

Guo Jing said, “Big Brother, what old monk curing bedbugs?”

Zhou Botong said, “Once there was an old monk selling bedbug-killer on the streets of Bianliang.¹² He said his medicine never failed, any bedbug that ate it was sure to die, and if it didn’t wipe out every last one, he’d pay the buyer back ten times the price. Crying his wares like that, he did a roaring trade. A customer took the medicine home and sprinkled it on his bed. Heh, by midnight the bedbugs were out in swarms, biting him half to death. The man was frantic. At first light he found the old monk and demanded his money back. The old monk said, ‘My medicine is infallible. If it didn’t work, you must have used it wrong.’ The man asked, ‘How should I have used it?’” Zhou Botong shook his head back and forth with a grin, saying no more.

Guo Jing asked, “How should he have used it?”

Zhou Botong said, his face solemn, “The old monk said, ‘You catch the bedbug, pry open its mouth, and feed it this much medicine. If it doesn’t die, come back and ask me.’ The man lost his temper. ‘If I’ve caught the bedbug, one pinch and it’s dead, so why would I need to feed it your wonder drug?’ And the old monk said, ‘Quite so. Did I ever say you couldn’t pinch it?’”

Guo Jing, Hong Qigong, and the Ouyang uncle and nephew all laughed aloud.

Ouyang Feng laughed, “My bedbug medicine differs slightly from that old monk’s.”

Zhou Botong said, “Looks about the same to me.”

Ouyang Feng pointed into the sea. “Watch.”

The great shark, fed the serpent-venom, had fallen belly-up the moment it hit the water, dead at once. Seven or eight sharks swarmed and tore at it. In moments the great shark was reduced to a pile of white bones sinking into the depths. Strange to say, within the time it takes to drink half a cup of tea, those seven or eight sharks that had eaten the poisoned flesh also turned belly-up and floated to the surface from the heart of the sea. The other sharks rushed to feed on the carrion, and in turn each one was poisoned and died. One became ten, ten became a hundred, a hundred became a thousand. In barely half a shichen, the sea was covered with floating shark carcasses. Few living sharks remained, and those still fought over the poisoned dead. In moments, all would be poisoned.

Hong Qigong, Zhou Botong, and Guo Jing watched this strange sight, and their faces changed.

Hong Qigong sighed. “Old Venom, Old Venom, your trick is venomous enough, but the venom of those two strange snakes is something else again.”

Ouyang Feng looked at Zhou Botong with a grin, brimming with triumph. Zhou Botong rubbed his hands, stamped his feet, and tugged at his beard.

Looking out across the water, they saw the sea white with upturned shark bellies, rising and falling with the waves.

Zhou Botong said, “All those big white bellies are enough to turn your stomach, and thinking that every one of these sharks was poisoned by Old Venom turns it even more. Old Venom, you watch out. The Dragon King of the Sea is mustering his patrolling yakshas and his shrimp soldiers and crab generals right now, to come and settle accounts with you.”

Ouyang Feng only smiled and said nothing.

Hong Qigong said, “Brother Feng, there’s something I don’t understand, and I’d like to ask you about it.”

“You do me too much honour.”

“That tiny cup of venom, however potent, how can it kill tens of thousands of great sharks?”

Ouyang Feng laughed, “This serpent-venom is most peculiar. The moment it touches blood, it becomes poison. Though the cup was small, once a shark’s wound touched it, the hundred jin of blood in its body turned to venom. A second shark touched that, and gained another hundred jin of poison.”

Hong Qigong said, “That’s what I call an endless tide of poison.”

“Precisely. Since I have the honour to be called the Western Venom, I should hardly be fit to stand among our worthies if I had no secret of my own in the art of venom.”

As they spoke, the last of the great sharks had perished. The smaller fish, when the sharks had come, had either been devoured or fled. The sea fell quiet and still.

Hong Qigong said, “Let’s go, quick, quick. The poison here is too thick.”

Ouyang Feng gave the order, and foresail, mainsail and jib were all raised together. The sails were trimmed, the helm put over, and they bore away to the north-west.

Zhou Botong said, “Old Venom really does sell fine bedbug-medicine. What do you want me to do? Say it now.”

Ouyang Feng said, “First, please go below and change into dry clothes. Rest and eat. We can discuss the wager later.”

Zhou Botong was very impatient. “No, no, you must tell me right now. What are you dawdling for, keeping me in suspense? If the waiting kills Old Wild Child, that’s your loss, nothing to do with me.”

Ouyang Feng laughed, “Very well then. Brother Botong, please follow me.”

Footnotes

1. 时辰 — shíchén. Traditional Chinese unit of time equal to two hours; the day was divided into twelve shichen. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

2. 周伯通 — Zhōu Bótōng. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

3. 洪七公 — Hóng Qīgōng. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

4. 神龙摆尾 — Shénlóng Bǎi Wěi. Literally divine dragon swings its tail. A move of the Eighteen Palms of Dragon Subduing. ↩

5. 斤 — jīn. A unit of weight, about 590 grams in the Song dynasty. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

6. 郭靖 — Guō Jìng. His name meaning “to pacify”; paired with Yang Kang’s 康 it recalls the Jingkang Shame of 1127. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

7. 金刀 — jīndāo. The golden dao Genghis Khan bestows on Guo Jing. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

8. 黄药师 — Huáng Yàoshī. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

9. 欧阳锋 — Ōuyáng Fēng. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

10. 欧阳克 — Ōuyáng Kè. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

11. 蛇杖 — Shézhàng. Ouyang Feng’s staff, with live venomous snakes coiled in its head. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

12. 汴梁 — Biànliáng. The Northern Song capital, modern-day Kaifeng. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩