The Legend of the Condor Heroes Chapter 17 – Part 1

Ambidextrous self combat¹

Zhou Botong said, “Do you think my shige’s² ghost appeared after he died? Or that his soul came back and he rose again? Neither. He was only feigning death.”

Guo Jing gave a start. “Feigning death?”

Zhou Botong said, “That’s right. It turns out that some days before he died, my shige already knew the Western Venom was lurking close by, waiting only for him to die before coming to seize the manual. So he used a supreme neigong³ to stop his breath and feign death. But had he told his disciples, their show of grief would never have looked quite real, and the Western Venom, cunning beyond measure, would certainly have seen through it and hatched some other vicious scheme. That was why none of them knew. Then, at that moment, my shige struck upwards with his palm and his body followed it, flying out of the coffin, and he jabbed a One Yang Finger⁴ full at the Western Venom’s face. Ouyang Feng⁵ had watched from outside the window as my shige died, and had seen everything perfectly clearly. Now, seeing him suddenly leap from the coffin, he was frightened out of his wits. He had always been wary of my shige, and in his terror he had no time to channel his neili⁶ in defence. My shige struck home with a single blow. The One Yang Finger, charged with the Innate Skill,⁷ caught him square between the brows and damaged the Toad Skill⁸ he had laboured over for so many years. Ouyang Feng fled to the Western Regions,⁹ and they say he has never come back to the Central Plains since. My shige gave a long laugh and sat down cross-legged on the offering table. I knew the One Yang Finger takes a terrible toll on the spirit, and that he must be circulating his neili to restore himself, so I left him undisturbed and went straight off to back up my shizhi¹⁰ and drive off the enemy. When the shizhi heard that their shifu¹¹ was not dead after all, every one of them was overjoyed. But when they got back to the Daoist temple, all they could do was cry out in dismay, at a loss what to do.”

Guo Jing asked, “What happened?”

Zhou Botong said, “My shige was slumped over to one side, and his face looked utterly changed. I rushed over and touched him. He was cold all over. This time he had truly departed this world. I thought, Ouyang Feng may have been frightened off by my shige, but the man has an iron will, and I’m afraid he’ll come back for a second try. His powers are vast, and he would be hard to hold off. So I took the text of the manual and set out to hide it in the Yandang Mountains in the south. But on the way I ran into Old Heretic Huang.¹²”

Guo Jing let out a cry.

Zhou Botong said, “Old Heretic Huang may be an odd fish, but he is proud and sure of himself. He would never be as shameless as the Western Venom and try to seize the manual by force. What spoilt things that time was that his new bride happened to be with him.”

Guo Jing thought, That must be Rong-er’s mother. What can she have to do with all this?

Zhou Botong went on, “He was all smiles, and said he was newly married. I thought, Old Heretic Huang has been clever all his life and now he’s been a fool for once. His wife may be beautiful, but what good is a wife about the house? So I teased him a little. Old Heretic Huang didn’t take offence. Instead he invited me to drink to his wedding. I told him how my shige had feigned death and struck Ouyang Feng. When his wife heard this, she begged me to lend her the manual to look at. She said she didn’t know the first thing about martial arts, she was only curious, and wanted to see what this book that had killed so many masters of the wulin¹³ actually looked like. Naturally I refused. Old Heretic Huang doted on his young wife and would not cross her in anything, so he said, ‘My wife truly knows no martial arts at all. She is young and loves anything new. Just let her look at it. What harm can that do? If I, Huang Yaoshi, so much as glance at your manual, I’ll gouge out these eyes of mine and give them to you.’ Old Heretic Huang is one of the two or three greatest men of the age, and naturally his word stands like a mountain. But this manual mattered far too much, so I only shook my head.

“Old Heretic Huang was put out and said, ‘Do you think I don’t know what a difficult position you’re in? Lend it to my wife to look at, and some day I shall repay your Quanzhen Order¹⁴ for it. If you’re set on refusing, then I can only let you have your way. You and I are friends, after all, so what else can I do? Your Quanzhen disciples, though, are no friends of mine.’ I understood what he meant. The man does what he says. He would feel awkward fighting me, but he would find some pretext to make trouble for Ma Yu,¹⁵ Qiu Chuji¹⁶ and the others. His martial arts are far too high. Anger him, and you really are in trouble.”

Guo Jing said, “Yes. Daoist Elder Ma,¹⁷ Daoist Elder Qiu and the rest could never beat him.”

Zhou Botong said, “So I said to him, ‘Old Heretic Huang, if you want to vent your temper, come after me, the Old Wild Child.¹⁸ What do you want with my shizhi? Wouldn’t that be the big bullying the small?’ When his wife heard my nickname, Old Wild Child, she giggled and said, ‘Big Brother Zhou, you love mischief and fooling about. Let’s not quarrel over this, then. Let’s all play together instead. I can do without seeing your precious manual.’ She turned to Old Heretic Huang and said, ‘It looks as if the Nine Yin Manual¹⁹ was snatched by that man Ouyang, and Big Brother Zhou can’t produce it. Why press him so hard and make him lose face?’ Old Heretic Huang laughed. ‘Quite right. Old Wild Child, I’d better help you go and settle accounts with Old Venom.²⁰ His martial arts are formidable. On your own you could never beat him.’”

Guo Jing thought, So Rong-er’s mother was full of clever tricks too. He broke in, “They were goading you!”

Zhou Botong said, “Of course I knew. But I wasn’t going to back down. I said, ‘The manual is right here with me, and there’s no harm in lending it to Sister-in-law for a look. But you look down on the Old Wild Child and think he can’t keep a manual safe, so you and I will have a bout first.’ Old Heretic Huang laughed. ‘A fight would spoil our friendship. You’re the Old Wild Child, so let’s compete at a children’s game.’ Before I could agree, his wife had clapped her hands and cried out, ‘Good, good. You two can have a contest at marbles.’”

Guo Jing smiled.

Zhou Botong said, “Marbles are what I’m best at, so I said straight away, ‘A contest it is, then. Do you think I’m afraid of him?’ Madam Huang laughed. ‘Big Brother Zhou, if you lose, you must lend me the manual to look at. But if you win, what do you want?’ Old Heretic Huang said, ‘The Quanzhen Order has its treasure. Do you think Peach Blossom Island²¹ has none?’ He took a pitch-black garment bristling with barbs out of his bundle and laid it on the table. Guess what it was.”

Guo Jing said, “The Soft Hedgehog Armour.²²”

Zhou Botong said, “That’s it. So you know of it too. Old Heretic Huang said, ‘Old Wild Child, your martial arts are superb, and you’ve no need of armour to protect you. But one day you’ll marry a Lady Wild Child and have a Little Wild Child, and when the little one wears this Soft Hedgehog Armour, it will serve him in more ways than you can count. Nobody will be able to bully him. Beat me at marbles, and the treasure that guards Peach Blossom Island is yours.’ I said, ‘A Lady Wild Child I shall never marry, whatever happens, and a Little Wild Child I’m even less likely to have. Still, this Soft Hedgehog Armour of yours is famous throughout the wulin. If I win it, I’ll wear it over my clothes and swagger about the jianghu²³ showing off. That wouldn’t be bad at all. Then the whole world will know the Master of Peach Blossom Island came to grief at the hands of the Old Wild Child.’ Madam Huang put in, ‘Don’t boast yet. Let the two of you have your match first.’ The three of us settled it: nine marbles each, eighteen little holes in all, and whoever got his nine marbles into the holes first would win.”

Guo Jing, hearing this, remembered how he and his sworn brother Tolui used to play marbles in the desert long ago, and could not help smiling.

Zhou Botong said, “I always carry plenty of marbles about me, so the three of us went out to the open ground in front of the house to play. I watched Madam Huang’s bearing and footwork closely, and sure enough, she had never learned any martial arts. I dug little holes in the ground and let Old Heretic Huang choose his marbles first. He picked up nine at random, and we began. His skill with hidden weapons has no equal in this age, and his Divine Finger Flick²⁴ is famous throughout the world. He took it for granted that his aim was far better than mine and that he was bound to come out on top at marbles. What he didn’t know was that this children’s game, though much the same as hidden weapons, is different in small ways, and has knacks of its own. The holes I dug were special, too. They turned a corner inside, so that a marble shot into one would jump straight out again. When you shoot, the force must be neither too light nor too heavy but exactly right, and at the very end you must also pull it back, to kill the rebound, or the marble won’t stay in the hole.”

Guo Jing had never imagined that people in the Central Plains made such an art of marbles. The Mongol children knew nothing of all this. Zhou Botong went on, very pleased with himself, “Old Heretic Huang shot three marbles in a row. Every one went into its hole without a hair’s breadth of error, and every one jumped straight back out. By the time he had worked out the trick of it, I already had five marbles in. His skill with hidden weapons really was formidable. He knocked my remaining marbles into the places where they were hardest to shoot, and at the same time got three of his own in. But I was ahead. Was I going to let him catch up? We went at it shot for shot for a while, and I got one more in. I was quietly delighted. I knew he was certain to lose this time, and not even an immortal come down from Heaven could help him. Ah, but who could have known Old Heretic Huang would suddenly play a dirty trick? Guess what it was.”

Guo Jing said, “Did he seal the acupoints²⁵ in your hand?”

Zhou Botong said, “No, no. Old Heretic Huang is a sly devil. He’d never use anything so clumsy. After a while he knew he could never beat me, so all at once he put hidden force into his fingers and shot off three marbles that smashed my last three to pieces, while his own stayed whole and unmarked.”

Guo Jing cried, “Then you had no marbles left!”

Zhou Botong said, “Exactly. All I could do was stand and watch while he shot the rest of his marbles into the holes one by one. And so I lost!”

Guo Jing said, “That does not count.”

Zhou Botong said, “That’s what I said. But Old Heretic Huang said, ‘Old Wild Child, we made it perfectly plain. Whoever gets his nine marbles into the holes first is the winner. You can’t wriggle out of it now! Never mind that I smashed your marbles with mine. Even if I’d grabbed them from you by force, if you’re one marble short in the holes, you’ve still lost.’ I thought, he may have played a dirty trick, but it was my own fault for not seeing it coming. Besides, smashing his marbles without harming my own was more than I could have managed in those days, and I couldn’t help admiring his skill. So I said, ‘Sister-in-law Huang, I’ll lend you the manual to look at, but you must give it back before dark today.’ I added that because I was afraid they would borrow it and never return it, and brazen it out by saying, ‘We never said for how long. We haven’t finished looking at it yet. What’s it to you?’ Then, once the manual was in their hands, ten years would still be borrowing, and so would a hundred.”

Guo Jing nodded. “Yes. It’s lucky you were so clever, Big Brother, and saw that move coming. If it had been me, I’d have been well and truly taken in.”

Zhou Botong shook his head. “When it comes to cleverness, who in the world can match Old Heretic Huang? Heaven knows how he did it, but he actually found himself a wife as clever as he is. Still, taking a wife was about the stupidest thing he could have done! Then Madam Huang gave a little smile and said, ‘Big Brother Zhou, they call you the Old Wild Child, but you’re no fool. You’re afraid I’ll be Liu Bei borrowing Jingzhou and never give it back, aren’t you? I’ll sit right here and look at it and give it back the moment I’ve finished. There’s no need to wait until dark. If you’re worried, just stand guard beside me.’

“When she put it like that, I took the manual out of my robe and handed it to her. Madam Huang took it, went over to a tree, sat down on a rock and began leafing through it. Old Heretic Huang could see I was still on tenterhooks, and asked, ‘Old Wild Child, how many men alive today are better at martial arts than you and I?’ I said, ‘Better than you, maybe none. Better than me, counting you, four or five at least!’ Old Heretic Huang laughed. ‘Now you flatter me. The Eastern Heretic, the Western Venom, the Southern Emperor and the Northern Beggar each have their strengths, and none of the four can beat any other. Since your shige has damaged Ouyang Feng’s Toad Skill, he’ll be a shade behind me for the next ten years. Then there’s Iron Palm Skims the Water,²⁶ Qiu Qianren. I hear he’s very formidable too, though he never came to that Huashan Sword Summit.²⁷ But however good he is, I doubt he has reached true mastery. Old Wild Child, I would never dare look down on your martial arts. Apart from these few, you stand first in the wulin. With the two of us together, nobody alive could stand against us.’ I said, ‘Naturally!’ Old Heretic Huang said, ‘There you are, then. Why fret? With the two of us standing guard here, who in the world could take your precious manual away?’

“I thought he was right, and felt a little easier. Madam Huang was reading carefully from the beginning, page by page, her lips moving slightly, and I found it rather comical. Everything in the Nine Yin Manual is martial learning of the most secret and profound kind. She knew nothing whatever about martial arts. She might recognise every character in the book, but I doubted she could grasp the meaning of half a sentence. She read it slowly from beginning to end, and it took her a good shichen²⁸ and more. I was getting rather impatient. When I saw her reach the last page, I thought, she’s finished at last, but no, she started all over again from the beginning. This time, though, she read very fast, and in the time it takes to drink a cup of tea she was done.

“She handed the book back to me and said with a laugh, ‘Big Brother Zhou, the Western Venom has fooled you. This isn’t the Nine Yin Manual!’ I got a terrible shock. ‘How can it not be?’ I said. ‘This is the very book my shige left behind. It looks exactly the same.’ Madam Huang said, ‘What use is looking the same? Ouyang Feng has switched your manual for another. This is just some common book of fortune-telling and divination.’”

Guo Jing cried in alarm, “Could Ouyang Feng have swapped the real manual before Wang the Perfected One²⁹ rose from the coffin?”

Zhou Botong said, “That was what I thought at the time too. But I’ve always known Old Heretic Huang loves nothing better than sly, clever tricks, so I didn’t altogether believe his wife either. Seeing me only half convinced, Madam Huang asked, ‘Big Brother Zhou, do you know what the text of the real Nine Yin Manual says?’ I said, ‘Since the manual came to my late shixiong,³⁰ nobody has ever read it. My late shixiong once said that he fought so hard to win the manual in order to rid the wulin of a great evil, with no thought of gain for himself, and so he left a last command that no disciple of the Quanzhen Order was ever to practise the martial arts in it.’ Madam Huang said, ‘Such noble-hearted goodness in Wang the Perfected One is truly admirable. And it was exactly because of it that he was tricked. Big Brother Zhou, open the book and see for yourself.’ I hesitated. I remembered my shige’s dying command and didn’t dare touch it. Madam Huang said, ‘This is a book of divination you’ll find all over Jiangnan. It isn’t worth half a coin. Besides, even if it really were the Nine Yin Manual, what harm is there in looking, so long as you don’t practise the martial arts in it? Your shixiong only said they weren’t to be practised. He never said they weren’t to be looked at. I’ve looked at it myself, so what does it matter?’ I did as she said and opened it at a page. The whole book was full of the secrets of the most profound martial arts. How could it be a book of fortune-telling and astrology?”

Footnotes

1. 双手互搏 — Shuāngshǒu hùbó. Chapter title. Lit. “Two hands fighting each other.” Zhou Botong’s art of fighting with each hand independently. ↩

2. 师哥 — shīgē. Male senior, the colloquial form of shixiong. Both apprenticed to the same shifu. Shī means teacher. Gē means older brother. ↩

3. 内功 — nèigōng. Literally internal cultivation. The practice of developing neili through breathing and meditation. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

4. 一阳指 — Yīyáng Zhǐ. The finger art of the Duan family of Dali. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

5. 欧阳锋 — Ōuyáng Fēng. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

6. 内力 — nèilì. Literally internal force. The kinetic manifestation of cultivated qi. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

7. 先天功 — Xiāntiān Gōng. Literally skill of the primordial. A neigong method. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

8. 蛤蟆功 — Háma Gōng. Ouyang Feng’s hereditary art, practised crouching like a toad. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

9. 西域 — Xīyù. Frontier territories west of Yumen Pass. See Wikipedia. ↩

10. 师侄 — shīzhí. Lineage nephew. The disciple of one’s shixiong, shidi, shijie or shimei. Shī means teacher. Zhí means nephew. ↩

11. 师父 — shīfù. Teacher responsible for technical instruction and moral guidance. Shī means teacher. Fù means father. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

12. 黄药师 — Huáng Yàoshī. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

13. 武林 — wǔlín. Literally martial forest. Those who actually practise, teach or study martial arts. The wulin sits inside the jianghu and is narrower than it: every member of the wulin belongs to the jianghu, but a pedlar or physician of the jianghu who never trained is no part of the wulin. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

14. 全真教 — Quánzhēn Jiào. Literally complete truth order. Daoist martial-monastic order founded by Wang Chongyang, one of the most influential orthodox factions. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

15. 马钰 — Mǎ Yù. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

16. 丘处机 — Qiū Chǔjī. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

17. 道长 — dàozhǎng. Literally Daoist elder. A respectful form of address for a Daoist priest. ↩

18. 老顽童 — lǎo wántóng. Literally old wild child. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

19. 九阴真经 — Jiǔyīn Zhēnjīng. Literally true scripture of the nine yin. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

20. 老毒物 — lǎo dúwù. Literally old venomous thing. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

21. 桃花岛 — Táohuā Dǎo. Huang Yaoshi’s island in the East China Sea. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

22. 软猬甲 — Ruǎnwèijiǎ. A vest set with tiny barbs, proof against blades and fists, treasured on Peach Blossom Island. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

23. 江湖 — jiānghú. Literally rivers and lakes. The world of martial artists, outside mainstream society. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

24. 弹指神通 — Tánzhǐ Shéntōng. Huang Yaoshi’s finger-flicking art, which strikes acupoints or sends small objects flying. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

25. 穴道 — xuédào. Acupoints, the nodes along the body’s meridians through which qi flows. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

26. 铁掌水上飘 — Tiězhǎng Shuǐshàng Piāo. Literally iron palm floating on water. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

27. 华山论剑 — Huàshān Lùnjiàn. Literally sword discussion at Huashan. Use of discussion is key as the participants were engaged in a martial arts exchange and a philosophical debate on mastery, rather than just a physical contest. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

28. 时辰 — shíchén. Traditional Chinese unit of time equal to two hours; the day was divided into twelve shichen. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

29. 真人 — zhēnrén. Literally true person. An honorific title for a Daoist master who has attained a high level of cultivation. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

30. 师兄 — shīxiōng. Male senior. Both apprenticed to the same shifu. Shī means teacher. Xiōng means older brother. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩