The Return of the Condor Heroes Chapter 6 – Part 8

He turned sideways to hide the maize, so as not to be caught with the goods by some farmer, then looked out of the corner of his eye. It was a young Daoist nun in an apricot-yellow Daoist robe, coming slowly towards him with a light, graceful step. A pair of jians was slung across her back, the blood-red silk tassels on their hilts snapping in the wind, so plainly she knew martial arts. Yang Guo thought, She must be from the Chongyang Palace up the mountain, most likely a disciple of the Tranquil Purist, Sun Buer. With a Daoist nun, he thought, there was no need to make trouble, so he kept his head down and went on gathering dry sticks.

The Daoist nun came up to him. “Hey, which is the way up the mountain?” she asked. Yang Guo thought, This woman is a Quanzhen disciple. How can she not know the way up the mountain? She must be up to no good. Without turning his head, he waved a hand at the mountain. “Just follow the main road up.” The Daoist nun saw a youth stripped to the waist in a pair of shabby old trousers, so filthy that there was no telling whether the stains were paint or vegetable juice, squatting by the road gathering firewood, and she took him for an ordinary farm lad. She was proud of her beauty, and any man who set eyes on her would stand and gape at her for a long while. Yet this boy had glanced at her once and never looked again, as if he were blind. She was put out, but then she thought, What do these country oafs know, dumb as oxen and horses? “Stand up,” she said. “I want to ask you something.”

Yang Guo had long since come to hate the whole Quanzhen Order from top to bottom, so he played deaf and dumb and made as if he had not heard. “Silly boy,” said the Daoist nun, “did you hear me?” “I heard you,” said Yang Guo, “but I don’t want to stand up.” At that the Daoist nun could not help tittering. “Look at me. It’s me telling you to stand up!” Her voice was soft and coaxing, sweet and sticky as honey. Yang Guo felt a jolt of alarm, Why does she talk so strangely? He looked up. Her skin was fair and smooth, her cheeks were flushed pink, and her moist eyes were looking at him sidelong, with no apparent ill will. After that one look, he bent his head again and went on gathering sticks.

“Do you know where the great tomb on the mountain is?” the Daoist nun asked next. Yang Guo started, but still did not look up. “No!” he said flatly. The Daoist nun noticed the odd look on his face and supposed the boy was probably afraid of the great tomb. Seeing how childish his face was, and how she left him quite unmoved, she was not angry, but thought, So he’s just a silly boy who doesn’t know anything. Country folk don’t know what a pretty face is, but they always want silver. She was in a hurry to find the way, and since her looks would not work on him, she took two ingots of silver from her robe and chinked them together. “Little brother, do as I say and these two ingots are yours.”

Yang Guo had not meant to provoke her, but hearing her talk so strangely, he decided to find out what she was after. So he played the idiot for all he was worth, staring at the silver open-mouthed. “What are those shiny things?” The Daoist nun smiled. “This is silver. New clothes, a big fat hen, white rice, you can buy them all with silver.” Yang Guo put on a look of utter bewilderment and thought, If I rob her of her silver, I can go down the mountain and buy medicine for Aunt. “You’re fibbing again,” he said. “I don’t believe you.” The Daoist nun laughed. “When did I ever fib to you? Hey, boy, what’s your name?” “Everyone calls me Silly Egg,” said Yang Guo. “Don’t you know that? What’s your name?”

The Daoist nun laughed. “Silly Egg, just call me Fairy Nun. Where’s your mother?” “My mother just gave me a good telling-off and went up the hill to cut firewood,” said Yang Guo. “Mm,” said the Daoist nun. “I need an axe. Go home and fetch one and lend it to me.” Yang Guo was greatly puzzled. His eyes went glassy, drool ran from the corner of his mouth, and he looked more of an idiot than ever. He kept shaking his head. “Can’t do that. You mustn’t lend people the axe.” The Daoist nun laughed. “When your father and mother see the silver, they’ll be happy to lend it.” And she tossed one of the ingots at him.

Yang Guo put out his hands to catch it and pretended to miss, so that the ingot hit him on the shoulder and, as it fell, struck his right foot. He clutched his right foot and hopped about on his left. “Ow, ow, you hit me! I’m going to tell my mother!” Still howling and yelling, he picked up the silver, turned and ran off down the mountain to buy the medicine.

The Daoist nun found his silliness amusing and gave a little smile. She undid the sash at her waist and flicked it out at Yang Guo’s right foot. Yang Guo heard the rush of air and looked back, and when he saw how the sash came at him he was startled, That’s our Ancient Tomb School’s skill! Can it be she isn’t a Quanzhen nun at all? He made no move to dodge, but let the sash wind round his right foot and went down flat on his face, letting every muscle go slack while she dragged him back any old how. Inwardly he was on his guard, She’s going up the mountain. Could it be Aunt she’s after?

The moment he thought of Xiaolongnü, not knowing whether she was alive or dead, he was frantic with worry. The Daoist nun had pulled him back in front of her. His face was covered in dust, but she saw that his features were fine and clear-cut, and she thought, This country boy is quite good-looking. Pity he’s an embroidered pillow with nothing but straw inside. He was still howling and yelling and babbling nonsense. She smiled a little. “Silly Egg, do you want to live or die?” And she drew her long jian and set its point against his chest.

The move she had used was “Brocade Brush Brings Forth Flowers”, the true swordplay of the Ancient Tomb School, and now Yang Guo had no more doubts, She’s most likely a disciple of my shibo Li Mochou, come up the mountain looking for Aunt, and she certainly means no good. From the way she used her sash and drew her jian, her martial arts are no mean thing. I’ll play the idiot to the end, so she’ll never be on her guard. He put on a look of terror and begged, “Fairy Nun, don’t… don’t kill me. I’ll do as you say.” The Daoist nun laughed. “Good. If you don’t do as you’re told, one stroke of the jian and you’re dead.” “I’ll do it, I’ll do it,” cried Yang Guo. The Daoist nun swung her sash, and with a soft crack it was back round her waist, a move so airy and graceful it was a pleasure to watch. Yang Guo cheered inwardly, Nice! But his face kept its vacant look. The Daoist nun thought, What would this idiot know about how hard that move is? I’m making eyes at a blind man. “Hurry home and fetch the axe,” she said.

Yang Guo had meant to go down the mountain and buy the medicine first, reckoning that the Daoist nun could never catch him. But now that he saw she was Li Mochou’s disciple and bound for the ancient tomb, she was certain to make trouble for Xiaolongnü, and he could not leave her unwatched. He ran off towards a farmhouse ahead, deliberately stumbling and stamping, lurching and swaying, looking clumsy in the extreme. The Daoist nun could hardly bear to watch. “Don’t you tell anyone,” she called. “Be quick there and quick back.” “Yes!” said Yang Guo. He took a quick look in at the door of a farmhouse. There was no one inside. They must all be out working in the fields. He took down from the wall a short axe for felling trees and chopping wood, picked up a ragged coat from a bench while he was about it, threw it round his shoulders, and came lumbering back like a simpleton.

He was making a fool of the Daoist nun, but he was so anxious for Xiaolongnü’s safety that his face could not help looking troubled. “What are you pulling a long face for?” said the Daoist nun crossly. “Smile for me, quick.” Yang Guo stretched his mouth into a grin and gave a few silly laughs. The Daoist nun’s fine eyebrows drew together a little. “Come up the mountain with me.” “No, no,” said Yang Guo quickly. “My mother told me not to wander off.” “If you don’t do as you’re told,” the Daoist nun shouted, “I’ll kill you here and now.” She twisted his ear with her left hand and raised her long jian high in her right, as though to cut him down. Yang Guo squealed like a pig at the slaughter. “I’ll go, I’ll go!”

The Daoist nun thought, He’s as stupid as a pig or a sheep, just what I need. She took him by the sleeve and set off up the mountain. Her qinggong was good, and she naturally went very fast. Yang Guo stumbled and tottered along, left foot high and right foot low, trailing far behind, and after a while he sat down on a stone by the path, wiping his sweat over and over and puffing and blowing. The Daoist nun kept on at him to hurry. “You go like a hare,” said Yang Guo. “How am I supposed to keep up?” The Daoist nun saw that the sun was already sinking in the west, and her patience ran out. She came back, took him by the arm and hurried him up the mountain. Yang Guo simply could not keep pace. His feet flailed about, and all of a sudden he stamped down hard on her instep.

“Ow,” yelped the Daoist nun. “Do you want to die?” she said angrily. But seeing him wheezing and blowing, truly worn out, she slipped her left arm round his waist. “Come on!” she cried, and, holding him against her side, she raced off up the mountain at full qinggong speed. In moments she had covered several li.¹ Yang Guo lay in the crook of her arm, feeling the warmth and softness of her body against his back and the scent of a young woman in his nostrils, and he did not lift a finger to help, but let her carry him up the mountain. After running for a while the Daoist nun looked down and saw a little smile on his face, as if he were thoroughly enjoying himself. That annoyed her, and she let go and dropped him. “Having a nice time, are you?” she snapped. Yang Guo clutched his backside and yelled, “Ow, ow, Fairy Nun’s hurt Silly Egg’s bottom.”

The Daoist nun did not know whether to be angry or to laugh. “How can you be so stupid?” she scolded. “That’s right,” said Yang Guo. “That’s why I’m called Silly Egg. Fairy Nun, my mother says my surname isn’t Silly, it’s Zhang. Is your surname Fairy?” “Just call me Fairy Nun,” said the Daoist nun. “What does my surname matter?” She was in fact Hong Lingbo, disciple of Li Mochou, the Scarlet Serpent Immortal, the young Daoist nun who had gone to kill Lu Liding’s whole household and been driven off by Wu Sanniang. Yang Guo had tried to find out her name, but she would not give it away.

She sat down on a stone to tidy her hair, which the wind had blown loose. Yang Guo looked at her with his head on one side and thought, This Daoist nun can count as pretty, but she isn’t as pretty as Auntie Guo of Peach Blossom Island, still less as pretty as Aunt. Hong Lingbo shot him a sidelong look and laughed. “Silly Egg, what do you keep staring at me for?” “I’m staring because I’m staring,” said Yang Guo. “What’s it for? If you don’t want me to stare, I won’t. What’s so special about you?” Hong Lingbo burst out laughing. “Stare all you like! Hey, tell me, am I pretty?” She took a little ivory comb from her robe and slowly combed out her hair.

“You’re pretty,” said Yang Guo, “only… only…” “Only what?” said Hong Lingbo. “Only you’re not very white,” said Yang Guo. Hong Lingbo had always been proud of her creamy white skin, as clear and smooth as crystal, and at this she flared up. She jumped to her feet. “Silly Egg, do you want to die? Saying I’m not white enough?” Yang Guo shook his head. “Not very white.” “Who’s whiter than me, then?” said Hong Lingbo furiously. “The one who slept with me last night is much whiter than you,” said Yang Guo. “Who? Your wife, or your mother?” said Hong Lingbo, and the thought passed through her mind that she would kill this woman with whiter skin than hers. “Neither,” said Yang Guo. “It’s our white sheep.” Hong Lingbo’s anger turned to laughter. “You really are an idiot. How can you compare a person with a beast? Come on, hurry up.” She took him by the arm and went quickly on up the mountain.

Just before they reached the main road that led straight to the Chongyang Palace, Hong Lingbo turned off west, towards the Tomb of the Living Dead. Yang Guo thought, So it’s Aunt she’s after, just as I thought. After a while Hong Lingbo took a map from her robe and searched for the way. “Fairy Nun,” said Yang Guo, “you can’t get through up ahead. There are ghosts in the woods.” “How do you know?” said Hong Lingbo. “There’s a big grave in the woods,” said Yang Guo, “and there are evil ghosts in the grave. No one dares go near it.” Hong Lingbo was overjoyed, and thought, So the Tomb of the Living Dead really is here.

In recent years Hong Lingbo had been taught a good deal by her shifu and her martial arts had come on considerably, and since she had helped her shifu beat the brave men of the wulin in Shanxi, Li Mochou thought more of her than ever. She had heard her shifu talk of matching skills with the Quanzhen masters, saying that if she could master the “Jade Maiden Heart Sutra” she would have nothing to fear from those old ox-nosed Daoists of the Quanzhen Order,² and that the pity was that the book recording this art had been left in the ancient tomb on Mount Zhongnan. Hong Lingbo asked her why she did not go into the tomb and study the art. Li Mochou gave a vague answer, saying only that she had given the place up to her little shimei,³ and that the two of them had never got on and had nothing to do with each other. She was fiercely proud, and naturally she would never tell her disciple how she had broken into the Tomb of the Living Dead several times only to be beaten and wounded and sent packing in disarray. Instead she said that her little shimei was young and her martial arts were nothing much, and that it was not fitting for a shijie⁴ to bully the weak. Then and there Hong Lingbo urged her shifu with all her might to go and seize the tomb and take the sutra. In truth not a day passed without Li Mochou thinking of it, but she had never fathomed the mechanisms in the tomb and dared not make a move. Hearing her disciple press her so eagerly, she only smiled and did not answer.

Footnotes

1. 里 – lǐ. Traditional Chinese unit of distance, approximately 500 metres or a third of a mile. ↩

2. 牛鼻子 – niú bízi. Literally ox-nose, a derogatory term for Daoist priests, alluding to the topknot that resembles an ox’s nose. ↩

3. 师妹 – shīmèi. Female junior. Both apprenticed to the same shifu. Shī means teacher. Mèi means younger sister. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

4. 师姊 – shījiě. Female senior. Both apprenticed to the same shifu. Shī means teacher. Jiě means older sister. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩