The Return of the Condor Heroes Chapter 6 – Part 8

He turned sideways to block the corn from view, to avoid being caught red-handed by a farmer. Glancing sideways, he saw it was a young Daoist nun, dressed in an apricot-yellow Daoist robe, her steps light and graceful as she slowly drew near. Twin swords were strapped to her back, their blood-red tassels fluttering in the wind, clearly she knew martial arts. Yang Guo thought to himself that this person was surely from Chongyang Palace on the mountain, most likely a disciple of the Tranquil Purist Sun Bu’er. He decided there was no need to trouble a female Daoist nun. He lowered his head and continued gathering dry twigs from the ground.

The Daoist nun walked up before him and asked, “Hey, which way is the path up the mountain?” Yang Guo thought to himself: “This woman is a disciple of the Quanzhen Order, how could she not know the way up the mountain? She must have ill intentions.” Without turning his head, he casually pointed towards the mountain and said, “Just follow the main road up.” The Daoist nun saw that he was bare-chested, wearing a pair of very worn and dirty trousers, she could not tell if they were stained with paint or vegetable juice, crouching by the roadside gathering firewood. She figured he was an ordinary farmhand. She was proud of her beauty. Any man who saw her would stare transfixed for a long while. Yet this youth had glanced at her once and not looked a second time, as if he were blind. She could not help feeling annoyed, but then thought: “What would these stupid, clumsy country folk understand anyway?” She said, “Stand up. I have something to ask you.”

Yang Guo had long since come to hate everyone in the Quanzhen Order, from top to bottom. He pretended to be deaf and mute, acting as if he had not heard. The Daoist nun said, “Silly boy, did you hear what I said?” Yang Guo said, “I heard you, but I don’t feel like standing up.” Hearing this, the Daoist nun could not help but let out a laugh. “Look at me, it’s me telling you to stand up.” These words were spoken in a voice both alluring and sweet, cloying as honey. Yang Guo felt a chill in his heart: “Why does she speak in such a strange manner?” He raised his head and saw that her skin was fair and smooth, her cheeks flushed with a rosy glow, her two eyes glistening as she cast a sidelong glance at him. She seemed to bear no ill will. After one look, he lowered his head again and continued gathering firewood.

The Daoist nun asked again, “Do you know where that great tomb on the mountain is?” Yang Guo paused, still not raising his head. He answered bluntly, “Don’t know!” The Daoist nun sensed something odd in his expression and thought the child was probably afraid of the great tomb. Seeing his face full of childish innocence and that he was utterly unmoved by her, she was not angry. She thought to herself: “So he’s just an ignorant silly child. Country folk don’t understand what makes a face beautiful, but they always covet silver.” Anxious to ask for directions and unable to use her beauty to entice him, she took two ingots of silver from within her robes and clinked them together. “Young Brother, if you do as I say, these two ingots of silver are yours.”

Yang Guo had not originally wanted to provoke her, but hearing her speak so strangely, he decided to test what her intentions were. He therefore played the fool to the fullest, staring blankly at the silver and saying, “What are those shiny things?” The Daoist nun laughed. “This is silver. If you want new clothes, or a big fat hen, or white rice, you can use silver to buy them all.” Yang Guo put on an expression of utter bewilderment, thinking to himself: “If I rob her of her silver, I can go down the mountain and buy medicine for Gugu.” He said, “You’re tricking me again. I don’t believe you.” The Daoist nun laughed. “When have I ever tricked you? Hey, boy, what’s your name?” Yang Guo said, “Everyone calls me Silly Egg, don’t you know that? What’s your name?”

The Daoist nun laughed. “Silly Egg, just call me Fairy Nun, that’ll do. Where’s your mother?” Yang Guo said, “My mother just gave me a good scolding and went up the mountain to cut firewood.” The Daoist nun said, “Hmm, I need an axe. Go home and fetch one to lend me.” Yang Guo was greatly puzzled. His eyes went blank, drool ran from the corner of his mouth, and his foolish expression grew even more convincing. He shook his head vigorously. “That won’t do. You can’t lend an axe to people.” The Daoist nun laughed. “Once your parents see the silver, they’ll be willing to lend the axe.” She tossed an ingot of silver towards him.

Yang Guo reached out to catch it but pretended to miss. The silver struck his shoulder, and when it fell, it hit his right foot. He clutched his right foot and hopped on his left leg, yelling, “Ow, ow! You hit me! I’m telling my mother!” Shouting and yelling, he picked up the silver, turned, and dashed down the mountain to buy medicine.

The Daoist nun found his foolishness amusing and smiled faintly. She untied the sash from her waist and lashed it towards Yang Guo’s right foot. Yang Guo heard the wind and glanced back. Seeing the sash coming, he was startled: “This is the skill of our Ancient Tomb School! Could it be she’s not a Quanzhen Daoist nun?” He did not dodge, letting the sash wrap around his right foot. He fell flat on the ground, relaxing his entire body, and let her drag him back. Inwardly he was on guard: “She’s going up the mountain, could it be she’s after Gugu?”

The moment he thought of Xiaolongnü, not knowing whether she was alive or dead at this moment, he could not help but be consumed with worry. The Daoist nun had already pulled him before her. She saw that although his face was covered in dust, his features were fine and clear. She thought to herself: “This country boy is rather handsome. Too bad he’s an embroidered pillow, nothing but a mess of straw inside.” Hearing him still shouting and yelling, babbling nonsense, she smiled faintly and said, “Silly Egg, do you want to live or die?” She drew her long sword and pressed it against his chest.

Yang Guo saw that the move she used, “Embroidered Brush Brings Forth Flowers”, was precisely a sword move of the orthodox Ancient Tomb School transmission. Now he had no more doubts: “This person is most likely a disciple of Li Mochou shibo. She’s come up the mountain looking for my gugu, and her intentions are certainly not good. Judging by the way she used her sash and drew her sword, her martial arts are not weak. I’ll keep playing the fool to the end, so she’ll be completely off guard.” His face full of terror, he pleaded, “Fairy Nun, please… please don’t kill me. I’ll do whatever you say.” The Daoist nun laughed. “Good. If you don’t follow my orders, one sword stroke and you’re dead.” Yang Guo cried, “I’ll listen, I’ll listen.” The Daoist nun flicked her sash, and with a soft snap it was back around her waist, her bearing graceful, thoroughly dashing. Yang Guo silently praised: “Well done!” But his face still wore a blank expression. The Daoist nun thought: “How could this fool possibly understand the difficulty of that move? I’m just casting flirtatious glances at a blind man.” She said, “Hurry home and fetch the axe.”

Yang Guo had originally intended to go down the mountain first to buy medicine, figuring the Daoist nun could not catch up to him. But seeing that she was Li Mochou’s disciple and was heading to the ancient tomb, she was surely going to make trouble for Xiaolongnü, he could not afford to ignore this. He ran towards a farmhouse ahead, deliberately stumbling and planting his feet heavily, swaying and lurching, appearing extremely clumsy. The Daoist nun found it unbearable to watch and called, “Don’t tell anyone. Go quickly and come back quickly.” Yang Guo answered, “All right!” He quietly peered through the doorway of a farmhouse and saw that no one was inside, they must all be working in the fields. He took a short axe used for felling trees and chopping firewood from the wall, casually grabbed a tattered coat from a bench and threw it over himself, and came back with a foolish swagger.

Though he was toying with the Daoist nun, his heart was hung up on Xiaolongnü’s safety, and a deep worry showed on his face despite himself. The Daoist nun scolded, “Why the long face? Smile for me, quick.” Yang Guo stretched his mouth into a grin and laughed foolishly a few times. The Daoist nun’s elegant brows furrowed slightly. “Follow me up the mountain.” Yang Guo hurriedly said, “No, no. My mother told me not to wander off.” The Daoist nun shouted, “If you don’t obey, I’ll kill you right now.” She reached out with her left hand and twisted his ear, raising her long sword high with her right as if about to strike. Yang Guo shrieked like a stuck pig: “I’ll go, I’ll go!”

The Daoist nun thought to herself: “This person is as stupid as a pig or a sheep, exactly what I need.” She grabbed his sleeve and headed up the mountain. Her qinggong was not weak, so naturally she walked extremely fast. Yang Guo, however, stumbled and lurched, left foot high, right foot low, trailing far behind. After walking a while, he sat down on a rock by the roadside, constantly wiping sweat and panting heavily. The Daoist nun urged him repeatedly to hurry. Yang Guo said, “You walk like a rabbit, how am I supposed to keep up?” The Daoist nun saw that the sun was already slanting westward and grew increasingly impatient. She turned back, took him by the arm, and rushed up the mountain. Yang Guo simply could not keep up. His feet kicked about wildly, and suddenly he stomped down hard on the top of her foot.

The Daoist nun cried “Ow!” She said angrily, “Are you trying to get yourself killed?” But seeing his breath coming in heavy gasps, truly exhausted, she reached her left arm around his waist and shouted, “Move!” Holding him against her side, she raced up the mountain, her qinggong unfolding. In moments they had covered several li.¹ Yang Guo let himself be held in the crook of her arm, feeling the warmth and softness of her body against his back and smelling the scent of a young woman in his nostrils. He simply exerted not the slightest bit of strength and let her carry him up the mountain. The Daoist nun ran for a while, then looked down and saw a faint smile on his face, as if he were thoroughly comfortable. She could not help feeling annoyed. She released her arm and dropped him to the ground, scolding, “Enjoying yourself, are you?” Yang Guo clutched his backside and yelled, “Ow, ow! Fairy Nun hurt Silly Egg’s bottom.”

The Daoist nun did not know whether to be angry or amused. She cursed, “How can you be this stupid?” Yang Guo said, “Exactly, I’ve always been called Silly Egg. Fairy Nun, my mother says my surname isn’t Silly, it’s Zhang. Is your surname Fairy?” The Daoist nun said, “Just calling me Fairy Nun is enough. Who cares what my surname is?” As it happened, she was none other than Hong Lingbo, the disciple of the Scarlet Serpent Immortal Li Mochou, the young Daoist nun who had gone to exterminate Lu Liding’s entire family and had been driven away by Wu Sanniang. Yang Guo wanted to find out her name, but she refused to reveal it.

She sat down on a rock and tidied her hair, which the wind had blown into disarray. Yang Guo tilted his head and looked at her, thinking: “This Daoist nun can be counted as beautiful, but she’s still not as beautiful as Auntie Guo of Peach Blossom Island, and even less so than my gugu.” Hong Lingbo shot him a sidelong glance and laughed. “Silly Egg, why do you keep staring at me?” Yang Guo said, “I’m staring because I’m staring, what does it matter? If you won’t let me stare, I won’t stare. Nothing special about it.” Hong Lingbo burst out laughing. “Go ahead and stare! Hey, tell me, am I good-looking?” She took a small ivory comb from within her robes and slowly combed her hair.

Yang Guo said, “Good-looking, sure, it’s just… it’s just…” Hong Lingbo said, “Just what?” Yang Guo said, “Just not very fair.” Hong Lingbo had always prided herself on her fair and creamy complexion, her skin crystalline and luminous. Hearing him say this, she could not help but fly into a rage. She stood up and shouted, “Silly Egg, do you want to die? Saying I’m not fair enough?” Yang Guo shook his head. “Not very fair.” Hong Lingbo said angrily, “Who is fairer than me?” Yang Guo said, “The one who slept with me last night was much fairer than you.” Hong Lingbo said, “Who? Your wife, or your mother?” A thought turned in her mind: she would kill this woman whose skin was fairer than her own. Yang Guo said, “Neither. It was my family’s white sheep.” Hong Lingbo’s anger turned to laughter. “You really are a fool. How can a person be compared to a beast? Hurry up, let’s go.” She took him by the arm and strode quickly up the mountain.

When they were about to reach the main road leading straight to Chongyang Palace, Hong Lingbo turned west, heading in the direction of the Tomb of the Living Dead. Yang Guo thought to himself: “As I thought, she’s going to find my gugu.” After walking a while, Hong Lingbo took a map from within her robes and searched for the path. Yang Guo said, “Fairy Nun, you can’t go through ahead. There are ghosts in the forest.” Hong Lingbo said, “How do you know?” Yang Guo said, “There’s a big tomb in the forest, and there are evil ghosts inside. No one dares to go near.” Hong Lingbo was overjoyed and thought to herself: “So the Tomb of the Living Dead really is here.”

It turned out that in recent years Hong Lingbo had received instruction from her shifu and her martial arts had improved considerably. After helping her shifu defeat the assembled heroes of the wulin in Shanxi, she had won even more of Li Mochou’s favour. She had heard her shifu discuss the matter of sparring with the masters of Quanzhen, saying that if she could master the “Jade Maiden Heart Sutra,” she would no longer need to fear those old bull-nose Daoists of the Quanzhen Order, it was only a pity that the book recording this martial discipline was left behind in the ancient tomb on Mount Zhongnan. Hong Lingbo asked her why she did not go into the tomb to study this skill. Li Mochou gave a vague answer, saying only that she had already yielded the place to her little shimei², and that the two fellow disciples were not on good terms and had never been in contact. Li Mochou was extremely proud. The fact that she had broken into the Tomb of the Living Dead several times, only to be defeated, injured, and forced to flee in disarray, this she was naturally unwilling to tell her disciple. Instead she said that her little shimei was young and her martial arts were mediocre, and that as the shijie³, it would be improper to bully the weak. Hong Lingbo then vigorously urged her shifu to go seize the tomb and take the sutra. In truth, Li Mochou had never let go of this thought for a single day, but she had not fully figured out the mechanisms inside the tomb and did not dare to act rashly. Hearing her disciple speak so eagerly, she only smiled and did not answer.

Footnotes

1. 里 – lǐ. Traditional Chinese unit of distance, approximately 500 metres or a third of a mile. ↩

2. 师妹 – shīmèi. Female junior. Both apprenticed to the same shifu. Shī means teacher. Mèi means younger sister. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

3. 师姊 – shījiě. Female senior. Both apprenticed to the same shifu. Shī means teacher. Jiě means older sister. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩