The Return of the Condor Heroes Chapter 16 – Part 8
Translation by Jenxi Seow
The National Preceptor smiled faintly and said, “One cannot judge people by their appearance. Take our Brother Yang here, so young, yet he bears supreme martial skills. If we had not seen it with our own eyes, who would believe it?” Yang Guo said modestly, “I am a late learner of little accomplishment, what is there to speak of? But the fact that those four green-robed people could bind Zhou Botong and carry him off shows they possess extraordinary abilities.” Though he spoke humbly, in his speech he was already addressing Xiaoxiangzi and the other first-class masters as equals. Everyone had seen him catch Zhou Botong’s flying platter with a single finger and no longer looked down on him. Hearing the reason in his words, they all began speculating.
Among the six, Yang Guo was the youngest. The National Preceptor had long been in Mongolia. Ma Guangzuo and Nimoxing had always been in the Western Regions. Xiaoxiangzi had cultivated in isolation in the wilderness and rarely interacted with outsiders. Only Yin Kexi had broad knowledge of the Central Plains jianghu’s sects, figures, and techniques, yet even he could not recall the slightest clue about these four green-robed men and women. As they talked, the boat reached the head of the stream. The six abandoned the boat, went ashore, and followed a small path deeper into the secluded valley.
There was only one mountain path, so there was no risk of going the wrong way. But the path grew higher and more rugged as they went. The sky gradually darkened, and still there was no sign of the four green-robed figures. Growing restless, they suddenly saw several fires burning in the distance. Everyone was overjoyed and thought, In this desolate mountain and barren valley, where there are fires there must be dwellings. Aside from those green-robed people, no ordinary person would live in such a precipitous place. They ran forward. Knowing they were entering dangerous territory, each remained on guard. But all of them had roamed the jianghu alone and survived many perils. Now six great masters were entering the mountains side by side, who under heaven could stop them? So while they maintained vigilance, they felt no fear.
Before long, they reached a flat open space at the mountain’s summit. An enormous bonfire blazed there. They walked several dozen zhang closer, and in the firelight they could see clearly: behind the bonfire stood a stone house.
Nimoxing shouted loudly, “Hey! Hey! Guests have come! Come out, quickly!” The stone house door slowly opened, and four people emerged, three men and one woman, the very same green-robed figures who had captured Zhou Botong that day. The four bowed in salute. The one on the right said, “Honoured guests have come from afar. We failed to welcome you properly and feel deep regret.” The National Preceptor said, “Not at all, not at all.” The man said, “Please, everyone, come in.”
Jinlun Guoshi and the five others entered the stone house. Inside, it was bare, aside from a few tables and chairs, there was no decoration at all. The four green-robed men and women followed them in and seated themselves in the host positions. The lead man said, “May I venture to ask the six honoured guests for their esteemed names?” Yin Kexi, the most skilled with words, smilingly announced the identities of the five, concluding, “My own name is Yin Kexi. I am a Persian westerner. My abilities, aside from eating, consist only of recognising some pearls, jades, and treasures, nothing like these gentlemen here, each of whom bears unique and supreme arts.”
The green-robed man said, “Our humble dwelling is desolate and remote. Never before have outsiders visited. Today honoured guests have descended, what fortune could be greater? But may I ask the purpose of the six in coming?” Yin Kexi laughed. “We saw you four capture that Old Urchin Zhou Botong and bring him here. Our curiosity was stirred, so we came to take a look. Your honoured dwelling’s secluded elegance is an eye-opening delight, truly, this journey has not been in vain.”
The first green-robed man said, “So that troublemaking old man’s surname is Zhou? No wonder he’s called the Old Urchin.” He spoke with lingering resentment. The second green-robed man said, “Are you gentlemen travelling with him?” The National Preceptor interjected, “We only met him today as well, there is no particular friendship between us.” Yang Guo said, “He is my friend. Please release him.”
The first green-robed man said, “That Old Urchin burst into our valley and caused tremendous destruction, utterly without reason.” The National Preceptor asked, “What destruction did he cause? Was it truly as you said, tearing up books and setting fires?” The green-robed man said angrily, “Isn’t that so? This junior was ordered by our shifu to guard the pill furnace. I don’t know how that old man barged into the pill chamber and began babbling endlessly at me, wanting to tell stories, wanting me to gamble with him on somersaults, neither mad nor sane, just utterly bizarre. The furnace was at a critical stage. I could do nothing but ignore him, pretend not to hear. Then suddenly he kicked over the furnace and spilled an entire batch of pills. The ingredients for this furnace of pills are extremely rare, to gather them all again, who knows how many months and years it would take.” He was still seething with anger.
Yang Guo laughed. “And he blamed you for ignoring him, saying it was your fault, isn’t that right?” The green-robed young woman said, “Exactly right. I was in the lingzhi chamber and heard the great commotion in the pill chamber. I knew something had gone wrong and was about to go investigate when this strange old man slipped in and snapped a stalk of four-hundred-year-old lingzhi in two.” Yang Guo saw that the young woman was about seventeen or eighteen, her complexion delicate and crystalline white, her eyes clear and bright, a tiny black mole at the corner of her lips. She was quite beautiful. He said, “The Old Urchin truly was outrageous. A stalk of lingzhi that had grown for over four hundred years, that is certainly a rare and precious thing.” The young woman sighed. “My father had planned for us to share it on the day of his new marriage with my stepmother. Who could have known the Old Urchin would destroy it? My father’s fury was immense, but that goes without saying. And then the Old Urchin, after breaking the lingzhi, stuffed it into his robes and absolutely refused to return it, just laughing and laughing. I had never offended him. I don’t know why he came to make trouble for me for no reason at all.” Her eyes grew slightly red, and she seemed deeply wronged. Yang Guo thought, For the Old Urchin to bully this young lady without any cause, that is not right. He consoled her: “Later, I will help you demand it back from the old man.”
Yin Kexi said, “May I ask for your honoured father’s name? We have intruded without even knowing our host’s name, this is truly a breach of propriety.” The young woman hesitated and did not answer. The first green-robed man said, “Without the Valley Master’s permission, we cannot presume to tell you. We ask the honoured guests’ forgiveness.”
Yang Guo thought, These people live in seclusion in a desolate valley, their movements so secretive, naturally they would not reveal their identities to outsiders. He asked, “After the Old Urchin stole the lingzhi, what happened next?”
The third green-robed man said, “As if causing havoc in the pill chamber and lingzhi chamber weren’t enough, this fellow surnamed Zhou then burst into the library and grabbed a book to read. This junior, bound by duty, had no choice but to intervene and stop him. But he said, ‘These childish playthings, what’s so important about them?’ and in one breath tore up three Daoist texts. By then, Eldest Brother, Second Brother, and our shimei had all arrived. The four of us combined our strength, but we still couldn’t stop him.” The National Preceptor smiled faintly and said, “This Old Urchin has a bizarre temperament, but his martial skills are truly formidable, naturally, he was not easy to stop.”
The second green-robed man said, “He wreaked havoc in the pill chamber, the lingzhi chamber, and the library, but he still wasn’t satisfied, he had to go to the sword chamber too. The moment he stepped through the door, he flew into a rage, saying there were too many weapons… too many weapons in the sword chamber, hanging everywhere, and he had nearly been stabbed. He immediately set a fire and burned all the calligraphy and paintings on the walls. While we were busy putting out the fire, he seized the chance to escape. Once we thought it over, we knew this was disastrous, so we chased him out of the valley, captured him, and brought him back for the Valley Master to deal with.”
Yang Guo said, “I wonder how the Valley Master will handle this. I only hope he will not harm the old man’s life.” The third green-robed man said, “Our master’s new marriage is imminent, he will not lightly take a life. But if this old man continues spouting nonsense and says something offensive to our shifu, he will be courting his own destruction. He can blame no one else.”
Yin Kexi laughed. “I wonder why the Old Urchin deliberately came to make trouble for your honoured shifu? From what I’ve seen, although he is mischievous, his temper doesn’t seem bad.” The green-robed young woman said, “He said my father is so old, yet still marrying…” That shixiong suddenly cut in: “That Old Urchin speaks foolish nonsense, what worth is there in taking it seriously? You honoured guests have come from far away and must be hungry. Allow us to serve a meal.” Ma Guangzuo bellowed, “Wonderful! Wonderful!” His face immediately lit up.
The four green-robed people went to the kitchen, brought out dishes, and soon laid out a meal. Four large platters: green were vegetables, white were beancurd and radish, yellow were bean sprouts, black were winter mushrooms, not a single dish of meat or fish.
From the age of three months, Ma Guangzuo had never eaten a meal without meat. Before him, these four great platters of vegetarian fare had not a trace of oil to be seen. His disappointment was immense. The first green-robed man said, “In our valley, we abstain entirely from meat and fish. We must ask the honoured guests’ forgiveness. Please, eat.” He produced a large porcelain vessel and filled each person’s bowl with clear, crystalline water. Ma Guangzuo thought, If there’s no meat, drinking several bowls of wine will do. He raised his bowl and gulped down two mouthfuls, it was tasteless and insipid. It was plain water. He roared, “The host is far too stingy, not even a bowl of wine!”
The first green-robed man said, “The use of wine is forbidden in the valley. This has been the ancestral rule for several hundred years. We must ask the honoured guests’ forgiveness.” The green-robed young woman said, “We have only seen the word ‘fine wine’ in books. What fine wine actually looks like, we have never seen. The books say wine can disorder the nature, it is probably not a good thing.”
The National Preceptor, Yin Kexi, and the others saw that these four green-robed men and women, though young, were so pedantic and rigid in their behavior. Moreover, from the moment they had met, not one of the four had shown the faintest trace of a smile. While not repulsive in appearance, they were truly tedious in speech. It was exactly as the saying goes: When the conversation is disagreeable, half a sentence is too much. No one spoke further. They lowered their heads and ate. The four green-robed figures withdrew and did not return.
When the meal was finished, Ma Guangzuo clamored to return that very night. But the other five, seeing the valley was filled with mystery at every turn, were stirred by curiosity and all wished to investigate further. The National Preceptor, moreover, was under Kublai’s orders to recruit Zhou Botong. He said, “Brother Ma, tomorrow we must still meet the Valley Master. How can we leave now?” Ma Guangzuo protested, “No wine, no meat. I couldn’t endure this kind of life for even half a day.” Xiaoxiangzi said stiffly, “Everyone says we’re not leaving, why are you the only one making noise?”
Ma Guangzuo had always secretly feared Xiaoxiangzi’s corpse-like appearance. Hearing this, he dared not make another sound.
That night the six slept in the stone house. On the floor were only a few straw mats. Everything in this valley was utterly contrary to normal human feeling, stricter and more tedious than even a temple. The monks in a temple, though they ate vegetarian fare, would never treat people with such icy coldness, never once showing a smile. Only Yang Guo, accustomed to the Ancient Tomb and to the frost-cold Xiaolongnü, was not the slightest bit bothered.
Nimoxing said angrily, “The Old Urchin, tearing down houses and setting fires, very very good!” At these words, Ma Guangzuo immediately felt a strong sense of agreement and loudly cheered. Nimoxing said, “Brother Jinlun, you are the head of us six. What do you say this Valley Master’s background is? Is he good or not good? Tomorrow, shall we be polite and courteous, or shall we beat him till the flowers fall… fall what water?”1 The National Preceptor said, “This Valley Master’s background, like all of you, I find it hard to fathom. Tomorrow we shall act as circumstances dictate.” Yin Kexi said quietly, “Those four green-robed disciples have no weak martial skills. The valley surely contains even greater masters. Everyone must be extremely careful. The slightest carelessness, and all six of us could be trapped here, that would be dire indeed.”
Ma Guangzuo was still grumbling about how the food was impossible to swallow and did not catch a single word. Yang Guo said, “If you don’t listen to what people say, muddle-headed as you are, if tomorrow you’re careless and they capture you and lock you up for life, feeding you only plain water, white rice, greens, and beancurd every day, even the worms in your belly will die of anger…” Ma Guangzuo was badly startled. He said quickly, “Good brother, I’m listening, I’m listening.”
That night, in this dangerous place, no one slept soundly. Only Ma Guangzuo snored like thunder, sometimes shouting in his dreams: “Come, come! Bottoms up! This piece of beef is huge, nice and fatty!”
Footnotes
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落花流水 – luòhuā liúshuǐ. Chinese idiom literally meaning “fallen flowers carried away by flowing water,” used to describe a crushing defeat. ↩