The Legend of the Condor Heroes Chapter 2 – Part 5

Zhu Cong¹ thought, Since he has this skill, he could drink another hundred bowls and it would make no difference. I must think of something else. He stepped back a pace and suddenly fell through the hole he had kicked in the floor earlier. They heard him shout, “I’m drunk, I’m drunk!” Then he leapt back up through the hole. When another round had been drunk, and the floor around Qiu Chuji’s² feet was soaked, as though a clear spring were welling out across the floorboards. By now Nan Xiren,³ Han Baoju⁴ and the others had noticed too. Seeing his neigong⁵ was so profound, they secretly admired him.

Han Baoju set his wine bowl on the table and was about to concede defeat. Zhu Cong shot him a look and said to Qiu Chuji, “Daoist Elder,⁶ your neigong is beyond anything mortal. We are lost in admiration. But the five of us pitting ourselves against one man hardly seems fair.”

Qiu Chuji was taken aback. “What does Second Brother Zhu suggest?”

Zhu Cong smiled. “Let me carry on the contest with you one to one, Daoist Elder.”

The words astonished everyone. They had just watched all five of them losing the drinking contest. How could he now demand to face Qiu Chuji alone? But the six eccentrics knew their brother well: though his words were often jesting, his belly was full of cunning schemes, and his actions were often beyond fathoming. If he said so, he must have some trick up his sleeve, and they all held their tongues.

Qiu Chuji chuckled. “The Seven Xias⁷ of Jiangnan really will not give an inch. Let’s do it this way. Second Brother Zhu, you drink with me until the vat is empty, and as long as neither of us is beaten, I will count it as my loss. How about that?”

There was still a little under half a vat of wine left, several dozen big bowls at the very least. It would take the capacious bellies of the two Maitreya Buddhas in the temple to hold it all. But Zhu Cong showed no concern. “I’ve no great head for wine, but on my travels in the south I once got the better of some formidable brutes. Bottoms up!” He waved his tattered fan in his right hand, his left sleeve billowing, and spoke as he drank.

Qiu Chuji followed him, bowl after bowl. “What formidable opponents?”

Zhu Cong said, “Once I went to the kingdom of Tianzhu.⁸ The Tianzhu prince led out a great water buffalo and challenged me to a drinking contest. And would you believe it, it ended in a draw.”

Qiu Chuji knew he was insulting him with a joke and spat out a contemptuous “Pah”. But Zhu Cong gestured wildly and talked nonsense, pouring bowl after bowl of wine down his throat, and no wine seeped from his hands or feet, so he was plainly not forcing it out by neigong. Yet his belly had swollen up into a great bulge. Could his stomach really stretch and shrink at will? Qiu Chuji was greatly puzzled. Then he heard Zhu Cong say, “The year before last I went to the kingdom of Xianluo.⁹ Ha, that time it was even more remarkable. The Xianluo prime minister led out a great white elephant to drink against me. That stupid creature drank seven vats. How many do you think I drank?”

Qiu Chuji knew perfectly well that it was a joke, but Zhu Cong looked so animated and told it with such gusto that he could not help asking, “How many?”

Zhu Cong’s expression suddenly turned solemn. He lowered his voice and said with utmost seriousness, “Nine vats!” Then all at once he raised his voice again. “Drink up, drink up!”

He danced about, neither drunk nor sober, neither mad nor sane. In mere moments, he and Qiu Chuji had drained the bronze vat to the dregs. Han Baoju and the others had never known he possessed such a capacity. They were equal parts astonished and delighted.

Qiu Chuji raised his thumb. “Brother Zhu is truly extraordinary. I bow to you!”

Zhu Cong laughed. “Daoist Elder used neigong to drink. I used waigong, external skill. Behold!” He laughed heartily, suddenly flipped backwards, and in his hand appeared a wooden bucket. He gave it a shake, and the fragrance of wine was overpowering. The bucket was half-full of fine wine. Every one of those present was a master of martial arts, and save for Ke Zhen’e,¹⁰ all had sharp eyes. Yet none had seen where the bucket came from. And Zhu Cong’s belly? It had flattened to its normal size. Clearly the bucket had been hidden beneath his robe. The Seven Xias of Jiangnan roared with laughter. Qiu Chuji’s face changed in spite of himself.

The truth was, Zhu Cong was a past master of thievery and deception, hence his sobriquet, the Swift-Handed Scholar. His art of concealing objects beneath his robe has been passed down to this day. When magicians perform, they walk onto the stage empty-handed, execute a tumble, and a bowl of goldfish appears in their hands. Another tumble, and a bowl of water materialises on stage. They can produce dozens of bowls of water, each with a goldfish swimming within, until the audience sits dumbfounded, marvelling at the impossibility. All this derives from the very same art. When Zhu Cong tumbled through the floor the second time, he had hidden a wooden bucket inside his robe. While drinking, he talked nonsense, waved his fan, and gestured broadly, all to draw Qiu Chuji’s attention away. A magician performing under the gaze of a thousand eyes can still conceal his methods, and Qiu Chuji, suspecting nothing, never noticed Zhu Cong’s sleight of hand, pouring bowl after bowl of wine into the bucket hidden inside his robe.

Qiu Chuji said, “Hmph. How does that count as drinking?”

Zhu Cong laughed. “And I suppose yours does? My wine went into a bucket and yours went into the floor. What’s the difference?”

As he spoke, he paced about. Suddenly he stumbled, apparently by accident, and trod in the pool of wine at Qiu Chuji’s feet. He lurched towards Qiu Chuji, who reached out to steady him with a casual hand. Zhu Cong leapt back, walked in a circle, and cried, “Fine verse, fine verse! ‘Since days of old, at Mid-Autumn… the moon shines brightest, and when the cool winds come in season… the night grows clearer still. The whole sky’s… splendour sinks into the Silver River, and the fish and dragons of the four seas… leap at the crystal…’” Drawing out the words, he recited it in a ringing voice.

Qiu Chuji was taken aback. He thought, That’s the unfinished regulated poem I wrote last Mid-Autumn. I’ve been carrying it about with me, meaning to add the last four lines, and I’ve never shown it to anyone. How does he know it? He felt inside his robe, and sure enough the slip of paper with the half-poem written on it was gone.

Zhu Cong, all smiles, spread the slip out on the table. “Who would have thought that the Daoist Elder, whose martial prowess has no equal in the world, should have such elegant literary gifts as well? I’m impressed, impressed.” His slip and fall a moment before had been deliberate, and in it he had worked his light-fingered art and lifted the paper from Qiu Chuji’s pocket.

Qiu Chuji reflected, Just now he reached into my robe, and I did not feel a thing. If he had stuck a dagger in me instead of stealing my poem, would I still be alive? He plainly spared me. The thought calmed his temper at once. He said, “Since Zhu the Second Xia has drained the vat with me, I must keep my word and willingly concede defeat. Today at the Drunken Immortal Wineshop,¹¹ Qiu Chuji has come off worst against the Seven Xias of Jiangnan.”

The Seven Eccentrics of Jiangnan laughed in unison. “You’re too kind, too kind. Little tricks like these can’t be taken seriously.”

Zhu Cong added, “Daoist Elder’s neigong runs deep indeed. We cannot begin to match it.”

Qiu Chuji said, “I have admitted defeat, but I still cannot leave the widows of my two friends unrescued.” He raised a hand in salute and held up the bronze vat. “I shall go to Fahua Monastery¹² at once and demand the women.”

Ke Zhen’e snapped angrily, “You have already admitted defeat. Why do you still pester Great Master Jiaomu?”

Qiu Chuji replied, “Helping those in danger and distress has nothing to do with winning or losing. Ke daxia, if your friend were to meet with misfortune and his widow were to be bullied, would you rescue her or not?” Suddenly his face changed, and he cried, “Well, well, so you’ve called in more men as well. If it were a thousand soldiers and ten thousand horses, your Daoist grandfather here would sooner throw away his life than drop the matter.”

Zhang Asheng¹³ said, “With the seven of us brothers here, what need would we have to call in anyone else?”

But Ke Zhen’e had already heard dozens of people racing towards the wineshop, the clatter of weapons and bows sounding among them. He rose at once and barked, “Get back, everyone, and take up your weapons!”

Zhang Asheng and the others seized their weapons. Footsteps thundered up the stairs as dozens of men charged up.

Turning to look, they saw several dozen big men, all in the dress of Jin soldiers. Qiu Chuji had hitherto respected the Seven Eccentrics’ character, believing they had been deceived by the monk Jiaomu, and so had held back in word and deed. But now, seeing a large force of Jin soldiers appear, his fury blazed. He shouted, “Monk Jiaomu, Seven Eccentrics of Jiangnan, you’ve actually gone and fetched the Jin raiders, and you still have the face to call yourselves chivalrous men?”

Han Baoju flared up. “Who fetched the Jin soldiers?”

The Jin soldiers were in fact Wanyan Honglie’s¹⁴ own guards. When their prince had gone out and not come back for a long time, they had come looking for him. Hearing there was fighting and killing at the Drunken Immortal Wineshop and fearing their prince was in danger, they had hurried to the scene.

Qiu Chuji snorted. “Very well, very well! I will keep you company no longer! This business between us is far from finished.” Holding up the vat on his hand, he strode towards the head of the stairs.

Ke Zhen’e rose and called out, “Daoist Elder Qiu, you must not misunderstand!”

Qiu Chuji said as he went, “Misunderstand? You are heroes and brave men, so why call the Jin soldiers to back you up?”

Ke Zhen’e said, “We did not call them.”

“I’m not blind!” said Qiu Chuji.

Ke Zhen’e was blind, and nothing in life galled him more than being mocked for it. He swung his iron staff and lunged forward. “What if I am blind?”

Qiu Chuji said no more. His left hand rose, and with a sharp crack, he struck a Jin soldier squarely on the crown. The soldier’s skull burst and he died instantly. Qiu Chuji said, “Let that be an example!” With a flick of his sleeve he went off down the stairs.

The Jin soldiers, seeing their companion slain, fell into confusion. Several of them at once hurled their spears down at Qiu Chuji’s back. Without turning his head, as though he had eyes in the back of it, he reached out and brushed them aside one by one. The soldiers were about to rush down when Wanyan Honglie hastily cried out for them to stop. He turned to Ke Zhen’e and said, “This evil Daoist is beyond all law. Will you all come and drink a cup with me, and we can talk over how to deal with him?”

Ke Zhen’e heard him barking orders at the Jin soldiers and knew him to be their commander. He cursed, “Damn you, clear off!”

Wanyan Honglie was taken aback.

Han Baoju said, “Our Big Brother told you to clear off!” His right shoulder shot out and struck Wanyan Honglie on the left hip. Wanyan Honglie stumbled backwards several paces.

The Seven Eccentrics of Jiangnan and the monk Jiaomu leapt down the stairs.

Footnotes

1. 朱聪 — Zhū Cōng. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

2. 丘处机 — Qiū Chǔjī. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

3. 南希仁 — Nán Xīrén. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

4. 韩宝驹 — Hán Bǎojū. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

5. 内功 — nèigōng. Literally internal cultivation. The practice of developing neili through breathing and meditation. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

6. 道长 — dàozhǎng. Literally Daoist elder. A respectful form of address for a Daoist priest. ↩

7. 江南七侠 — Jiāngnán Qī Xiá. Literally seven xia of Jiangnan. ↩

8. 天竺 — Tiānzhú. The ancient Chinese name for India. ↩

9. 暹罗 — Xiānluó. The Chinese name for Siam, modern Thailand. ↩

10. 柯镇恶 — Kē Zhèn’è. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

11. 醉仙楼 — Zuìxiān Lóu. The Drunken Immortal Wineshop, on the shore of South Lake in Jiaxing. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

12. 法华寺 — Fǎhuá Sì. Literally Dharma Blossom Monastery. A Buddhist monastery in Jiaxing. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

13. 张阿生 — Zhāng Āshēng. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩

14. 完颜洪烈 — Wányán Hóngliè. See Wuxia Wiki. ↩