Deer and the Cauldron - Chapter 12 (Part 5)

Wei Xiaobao listened to her joking and his mood lifted at once. He laughed, “How did a little turtle get on your face? Ah, I know. Dear girl, your cheeks are so smooth and bright, like a mirror, that's why there's a little turtle there.” Mu Jianping did not understand, and asked, “Why?” Wei Xiaobao said, “Who do you sleep next to? Your face is like a mirror, reflecting that person's features. So naturally there's a little turtle on your cheek.” Fang Yi said, “Bah! Come over here and look yourself. It's the little princess who has a little turtle on her face.” Wei Xiaobao said, “If I came over to look, then a handsome, dashing great lord would appear on my dear girl's face.” Both Mu and Fang laughed. Fang Yi smiled, “A little turtle and a great lord. What kind of great lord is that?” The three of them giggled for a while.

Fang Yi said, “Now then, how are we going to escape from the palace? You must think of a way.”

These past few days Wei Xiaobao had been flattered on every side, but the moment he returned to his own quarters he felt lonely and bored. Now suddenly he had two young women to keep him company. Although at any moment someone might burst in, he could not bear to let them leave just yet. He said, “We’ll have to think of something slowly. You’re both wounded. The moment you step outside this door, you’ll be seized.”

Fang Yi sighed softly and asked, “Of our companions who came into the palace last night, how many were killed, and how many taken prisoner? Do you know the names of those who’ve fallen into trouble?”

Wei Xiaobao shook his head. “I don’t know. But since you care, I can go and find out for you.”

Fang Yi said quietly, “Thank you.”

Ever since he had known her, Wei Xiaobao had never heard her speak so politely, and was somewhat surprised.

Mu Jianping said, “Especially, ask whether someone surnamed Liu escaped safely or not.”

Wei Xiaobao asked, “Someone surnamed Liu? Liu what?”

Mu Jianping said, “That’s our shige.¹ His name is Liu Yizhou. He’s… he’s my shijie’s² beloved, and that’s… that’s…” She suddenly gave a little giggle, for Fang Yi was tickling her armpit, stopping her from going on.

Wei Xiaobao gave an “Ah!” and said, “Liu Yizhou. Mm… that’s… that’s not good.”

Fang Yi could not help herself and blurted out, “What’s wrong?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Wasn’t he a tall, fair-skinned young man, about twenty or so, very handsome? And his martial arts are quite formidable, aren’t they?” He naturally had no idea what Liu Yizhou was like, but since this man was Fang Yi’s beloved, he must be a handsome young man. And since he was their shixiong, saying his martial arts were formidable could not be wrong.

Sure enough Mu Jianping said, “Yes, yes, that’s him. Shijie said that when she was wounded last night, she saw Shige Liu beaten down by three imperial guards. One of the guards pinned him down. Most likely he was captured. We don’t know how he is now.”

Wei Xiaobao sighed. “Ai, so this Master Liu is Miss Fang’s beloved…” He kept shaking his head and sighing.

Fang Yi’s face was full of worry. She asked, “Brother Gui, how is… how is Shige Liu?”

Wei Xiaobao thought, Stinking little wench, she’s been sharp with me all along, but the moment she mentions her Shige Liu, she’s calling me Brother Gui. He gave another long sigh and shook his head. Let me scare her a little. “A pity, a pity!”

Fang Yi asked in alarm, “What’s happened? Is he… is he wounded, or… or dead?”

Wei Xiaobao burst out laughing. “Liu Yizhou, Liu Er-pi — I’ve never seen any of them. How would I know whether he’s dead or alive? Call me ‘dear husband’ three times and I’ll go and check for you.”

Fang Yi had seen him shaking his head and sighing, repeating “a pity,” and had assumed that Liu Yizhou must be in grave danger. Now hearing him say this, she was overjoyed, and scoffed, “Not a word you say has a scrap of seriousness in it. Which part is true and which part is a lie?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “If that Liu Yizhou fell into my hands, hmph, first I’d tie him up and give him a thorough beating. Beat his backside into four pieces. Then I’d ask him what flowery words and sweet talk he used to steal my wife’s heart. Then I’d raise my dao and bring it down with one slash — cha…”

Mu Jianping said, “You’d kill him?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “No. I’d cut off his balls and turn him into a eunuch.”

Mu Jianping did not understand what he was saying. But Fang Yi did, and her face flushed crimson. She cursed, “You little smooth-tongue, always talking nonsense!”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Your Shige Liu has most likely been captured. Whether or not he becomes a eunuch — well, when Eunuch Gui speaks, quite a few people are willing to listen. Miss Fang, will you beg me or not?”

Fang Yi’s face flushed again. She hesitated and said nothing.

Mu Jianping said, “Brother Gui, you’re the kind of man who helps others without being asked. That’s what makes a true hero of the jianghu.³”

Wei Xiaobao waved his hand. “Wrong, wrong! What I like best is people begging me. The more they cry ‘dear husband, darling husband’ all affectionate-like, the more spirited I am about doing things for them.”

Fang Yi hesitated a while, then said, “Brother Gui, dear Brother Gui, I’m begging you.”

Wei Xiaobao put on a stern face. “You have to call me husband!”

Mu Jianping said, “That’s not right. My shijie is going to marry Shige Liu in the future. Shige Liu is her husband. How could she call you husband?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “No good. The better he is, the more vinegar I drink. More and more. Oiyoi, so sour, so sour! Drunk too much vinegar, ha, ha!” Still laughing, he picked up that bundle, walked out of the room, locked the door behind him, and led four attendant eunuchs on horseback towards Wu Yingxiong’s residence on West Chang’an Avenue.

On horseback he kept swinging his right fist at the air, shouting, “Bang, bang, bang! Bang, bang, bang!” His attendants could not make out what he meant. How could they guess that Eunuch Gui was this time bearing an imperial decree to make a fortune, and naturally needed to knock that Yunnan bamboo drum⁴ “bang, bang, bang” nice and loud?

When Wu Yingxiong heard that an imperial envoy had arrived, he hurried out to kowtow in welcome, and led Wei Xiaobao into the main hall.

Wei Xiaobao said, “The Emperor told me to bring some things for you to see. Young Prince, are you brave or afraid?”

Wu Yingxiong said, “This humble one’s courage is the smallest there is. I cannot bear frights.”

Wei Xiaobao was taken aback, then laughed. “You cannot bear frights? Yet you act boldly enough!”

Wu Yingxiong said, “I do not quite understand Eungong’s meaning. I beg you to make it plain.” Last night at the Kang Prince’s mansion he had called himself zai;⁵ today Wei Xiaobao had come bearing imperial orders, and seeing his arrogant bearing, Wu Yingxiong sensed something amiss. He kept calling himself beizhi.⁶

Wei Xiaobao said, “How many assassins did you send into the palace last night? The Emperor has told me to come and ask.”

Wu Yingxiong had already heard news of last night’s assassination attempt in the palace. Hearing Wei Xiaobao’s question so suddenly, the shock was tremendous. He dropped immediately to his knees, kowtowing repeatedly towards the courtyard, and said, “The Emperor’s grace towards this humble minister and his father is as heavy as a mountain. This minister and his father could serve as oxen and horses and still not repay the Emperor’s kindness. We, Wu Sangui and Wu Yingxiong, father and son, are willing to die for the Emperor. We harbour no treachery.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed. “Get up, get up. There’s no rush with the kowtowing. Young Prince, let me show you a few things.” He untied the bundle and spread it out on the table.

Wu Yingxiong stood up. When he saw the weapons and clothing in the bundle, his hands began to tremble. He stammered, “This… this… this…” He picked up the written confession and read that it stated in plain terms that the assassins had been sent by the Prince of Pacifying the West, Wu Sangui, to enter the palace and assassinate, determined to kill the Tartar Emperor and install Wu Sangui as their lord. Quick-witted and resourceful as Wu Yingxiong was, he was so frightened his soul nearly left his body. His knees buckled and he sank to the ground again, this time kneeling before Wei Xiaobao. He said, “Eunuch… Eunuch Gui, this… this is absolutely not true. This minister and his father have fallen into some villain’s… trap. We implore Eungong to make this clear to His Majesty, to… to make clear…”

Wei Xiaobao said, “These weapons were brought into the palace by the rebels, a plot of treason and high crime. Yet each weapon bears your household’s trademark.”

Wu Yingxiong said, “This minister and his father have many enemies. It must be some enemy’s scheme.”

Wei Xiaobao pondered. “What you say has some merit, in principle. The question is whether the Emperor would believe it.”

Wu Yingxiong said, “Eungong’s great kindness and virtue — I implore you to make this clear for this humble one and his father. The lives and fortunes of this humble one and his father rest entirely in Eungong’s gift.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Young Prince, get up first. Last night you already sent me a gift, as though you’d foreseen this affair. Heh, heh!”

Wu Yingxiong had been about to stand. Hearing the weight in those words, he quickly dropped to his knees again. “If only Eungong would speak a few words to clear this humble one and his father before the Emperor, His Majesty is wise and will certainly believe Eungong’s word.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “The matter has already spread. Minister Songgotu, and the guard commander Duolong, have both seen the Emperor and reported the assassins’ confessions. You know yourself — a matter this serious, treason, who would dare such a bold face as to hush it up? Speaking a few words to clear you before the Emperor is not impossible. I’ve even thought of a clever plan. Not absolutely foolproof, but it should very likely clear you and your father of blame. It is rather troublesome, though.”

Wu Yingxiong was overjoyed. “Everything depends on Eungong’s rescue.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Please stand up so we can talk.”

Wu Yingxiong rose and kept offering courtesies.

Wei Xiaobao asked in a low voice, “The assassins truly weren’t sent by you?”

Wu Yingxiong said, “Absolutely not! How could this humble one commit such a crime, one of the ten unpardonable sins, deserving death ten thousand times over?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Good. I’ll count you a friend, and believe you this once. If the assassins were sent by you, and it comes to light later, that would be the end of me. I’d be executed alongside you, the whole family put to the sword.”

Wu Yingxiong said, “Eungong may rest assured. A hundred per cent, no such thing.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Then in your view, who sent these rebels?”

Wu Yingxiong considered. “This minister and his father have many enemies. It is hard to say for certain in one moment.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “If you want me to clear you before the Emperor, you’ll need to find some enemy to take the blame. Only then will the Emperor believe it.”

Wu Yingxiong said, “Yes, yes! My father fought to win the realm for the Great Qing, and suppressed no small number of rebels. The remnants of those rebels all harbour bitter hatred for my father. Li Chuang’s⁷ surviving rebels, for instance. The remnants of the late Ming’s Prince of Tang and Prince of Gui. The remnants of the Mu family of Yunnan.⁸ They harbour resentment in their hearts. There is no disorder or insurrection they would not attempt.”

Wei Xiaobao nodded. “Li Chuang’s surviving rebels, the remnants of the Mu family of Yunnan — people like that. What schools of martial arts do they practise? Teach me a few moves. I’ll perform them for the Emperor, and say that I saw with my own eyes last night that the assassins were using these very techniques. Genuine and authentic, absolutely no mistake.”

Footnotes

1. 师哥 – shīgē. Colloquial form of shixiong, a male senior fellow disciple apprenticed to the same shifu. Shī means teacher. Gē means older brother (the spoken form, as opposed to the literary 兄). ↩

2. 师妹 – shīmèi. A female junior fellow disciple, both apprenticed to the same shifu. Shī means teacher. Mèi means younger sister. ↩

3. 江湖 – jiānghú. Literally “rivers and lakes.” The itinerant world beyond settled society and official reach, holding not only martial artists but the trades that travel with them: pedlars, physicians, fortune-tellers, entertainers, boatmen, beggars, outlaws and the like. ↩

4. 竹杠 – zhúgàng. A bamboo pole used as a lever or, figuratively, for extortion. To “knock the bamboo drum” (敲竹杠) means to swindle or fleece someone. Wei Xiaobao is about to squeeze Wu Yingxiong for all he is worth. ↩

5. 在下 – zài. A modest self-reference meaning “this humble one,” used by martial artists and gentlemen in polite company. Wu Yingxiong used this form last night; his shift to 卑职 today signals alarm. ↩

6. 卑职 – bēizhí. A humble self-reference used by officials before superiors, literally “this humble office-holder.” Wu Yingxiong’s shift from 在下 to 卑职 signals his alarm at Wei Xiaobao’s imperial backing. ↩

7. 李闯 – Lǐ Chuǎng. The rebel name of Li Zicheng (1606–1645), who led the uprising that overthrew the Ming dynasty in 1644. He declared himself emperor of a short-lived Shun dynasty before being driven out by Qing forces. His remnants continued to resist the Qing for decades. ↩

8. 云南沐家 – Yúnnán Mù Jiā. The Mu family, hereditary governors of Yunnan under the Ming, who remained loyal to the Ming cause. Their remnants were among the anti-Qing forces. Wu Sangui had been instrumental in hunting them down. ↩