The Deer and the Cauldron - Chapter 2 (Part 7)

The man was furious. He reached out with his left hand to overturn the table. Suddenly, with a thud, a punch landed in his chest and he flew backwards. It was the person sitting beside the table who had struck him. The man who threw the punch reached into the chopstick tube on the table, pulled out a handful of bamboo chopsticks and began hurling them one by one. A chorus of agonised cries rose. The men surrounding Mao Shibai fell one after another, each struck by a chopstick in the eye or the cheek, all hit in vital places. One man shouted, “These bandits are fierce! Everyone, let's go!” They helped up their wounded and bolted for the door. Then came the sound of galloping hooves as the party mounted and rode off at speed.

Wei Xiaobao laughed loudly and crawled out from under the table, still clutching the bloodstained steel dao in his hand. Mao Shibai limped over to the man at the table and clasped his fists in the civil salute.¹ “Many thanks for your help, sir. Otherwise I would have been hard-pressed today, too many of them and me the only one.”

Wei Xiaobao turned to look and gave a start. The man sitting at the table was the very fellow who had grabbed his horse on the road earlier, the one Wei Xiaobao had cursed at.

The man rose and returned the courtesy. “Brother Mao was already wounded, yet still fired by righteous anger to denounce the traitor. Admirable indeed.”

Mao Shibai laughed. “The person I hate most in this world is the great traitor Wu Sangui. It’s a pity the villain is far away in Yunnan and I can’t get at him. But today I’ve beaten his little traitor underlings. That was satisfying. May I ask your honourable name?”

The man said, “There are too many people here. It would be inconvenient to speak of it. Brother Mao, let us part here. We shall meet again.” He turned to help a female guest to her feet. The woman had kept her head lowered the entire time; her face could not be seen.

Mao Shibai was offended. “You won’t even tell me your name? That’s contemptuous.”

The man paid no heed. Supporting the woman, he walked towards the door. As he passed Mao Shibai, he murmured a single sentence.

Mao Shibai’s whole body trembled. His face at once took on an expression of deep respect, and he bowed. “Yes, yes. Today I meet a hero. It is…it is truly the fortune of three lifetimes.”

The man said nothing in reply. He helped the woman into the cart, mounted his horse, and they rode away.

Wei Xiaobao saw Mao Shibai’s manner shift from high-and-mighty to humble respect, and found it most peculiar. “What’s so special about that kid? Look at you, scared half to death.”

“What kid? Watch your mouth.” Mao Shibai glanced around. The innkeeper and his assistants were poking their heads out from behind the counter. The eating house was in a shambles, the floor covered in blood. “Let’s go.” He supported himself against a table and shuffled to the door, grabbed a door bolt to use as a crutch, then made his way outside. He untied the horses from the hitching post. “Hold the saddle steady. Left foot in the stirrup first, then mount…that’s it, just like that.”

“I already know how to ride,” said Wei Xiaobao. “Haven’t ridden in ages, that’s all. What’s so hard about it?”

Mao Shibai smiled, leapt onto the other horse and took Wei Xiaobao’s mount in his left hand by the reins. They rode north. “I’m wounded. If we run into Eagle Claws² I won’t be able to handle them. We can’t stay on the official road. We need to find somewhere out of the way and heal up first.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “That man just now, his martial arts were impressive. He threw a few bamboo chopsticks and drove them all off. Mao dage, I’d say you’re not as good as him.”

“Of course not. He’s a hero from Prince Mu’s Manor³ in Yunnan. How could he be anything but impressive?”

“He’s from Prince Mu’s Manor? I thought he was that Grand Chief⁴ Chen from the Heaven and Earth Society.⁵ Look at you, scared out of your wits.”

Mao Shibai was angry. “When was I scared? You little ghost, talking nonsense. I’m showing respect to Prince Mu’s Manor. One ought to be courteous to such people.”

“Courteous? He didn’t show you any courtesy! You asked his name and he ignored you completely. All he said was ‘Let us part here, we shall meet again.’”

“He told me afterwards, didn’t he? Otherwise how would I know he was from Prince Mu’s Manor?”

Wei Xiaobao asked, “What did he whisper in your ear?”

“He said: ‘I am from Prince Mu’s Manor in Yunnan. My surname is Bai.’”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Hmm. Surnamed Bai, a freeloader⁶ then.”

“Kid, stop talking nonsense.”

“You see someone from Prince Mu’s Manor and you’re scared out of your soul. I couldn’t care less. Mao dage, you’re not afraid of Oboi, not afraid of the great traitor Wu Sangui, but you’re scared of Prince Mu’s Manor. Do they have three heads and six arms? Oh, I know. You’re afraid he’ll poke your eyes out with a pair of chopsticks, and Mao Shibai becomes Mao the Blind Man.”

“It’s not that I’m afraid of them. It’s just that if a hero in the jianghu⁷ offends Prince Mu’s Manor, losing your life isn’t the worst of it. It’s the contempt of ten thousand people that’s unbearable. People look down on you.”

“What exactly is Prince Mu’s Manor, then? How fearsome are they?”

“You’re not of the wulin.⁸ Even if I told you, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Damn it, thinking you’re so grand? I don’t give a damn.”

“We who travel the jianghu rarely get to see the people of Prince Mu’s Manor. Making friends with them is harder still. Today we happened upon me fighting Wu Sangui’s underlings. Prince Mu’s Manor and Wu Sangui are mortal enemies, so naturally they wanted to help. But you little brat had to use underhanded tricks,⁹ dragging me down in their estimation too.” His face flushed with anger as he spoke.

Wei Xiaobao said, “Oh dear. Tsk tsk tsk. He puts on airs and won’t be your friend, and you blame me?”

Mao Shibai was furious. “You hid under the table and chopped at people’s feet with a knife. Damn it, what kind of martial arts is that? Heroes and brave men see that. How can they treat us as friends?”

“Your granny’s! If I hadn’t chopped a few feet, you’d be dead by now. And now you’re blaming me?”

Mao Shibai thought about being looked down on by the people of Prince Mu’s Manor. The more he thought about it, the angrier he grew. “I told you not to follow me, but you had to come. You threw lime in people’s eyes. That sort of low conduct is the most despised thing in the jianghu. It ranks three levels below drugging people and burning knockout incense. I would rather have been killed by Heilongbian Shi Song than saved by such despicable, shameless, underhanded tricks. Damn you, kid. The more I look at you, the angrier I get.”

Only now did Wei Xiaobao understand. Throwing lime in people’s eyes was considered utterly shameful in the jianghu, a great taboo of the wulin, and hiding under a table to chop people’s feet was clearly no glorious martial art either. But Mao Shibai’s scolding had stung him into a rage, and he retorted viciously, “Killing with a knife is killing. Killing with lime is also killing. What’s high-class or low-class about it? If this ‘little ghost’ of yours hadn’t used ‘underhanded’ methods to save you, you ‘old ghost’ would already be a high-class ghost. Your thigh was wounded, wasn’t it? They hacked your thigh with a knife, and I hacked their feet with a knife. Thigh and feet, both are lower body. What’s the difference? If you don’t want me to go to Beijing with you, you go your way and I’ll go mine. From now on we don’t know each other.”

Mao Shibai looked at the boy, covered in dust and blood. The child was hurt because of him. They were far from Yangzhou now, and leaving the boy in the wilderness would be wrong. Besides, the boy had saved his life twice. How could he be ungrateful? He said, “Fine. I’ll take you to Beijing. But you must agree to three conditions.”

Wei Xiaobao was delighted. “Three conditions? No problem! A true man’s word, once spoken, what horse can catch it?” He had once heard a storyteller say “four horses cannot catch it,”¹⁰ but he could never remember that character for “four.”

Mao Shibai said, “First: no causing trouble, no foul language. Keep your mouth clean.”

“Easy enough. If I don’t curse, I don’t curse. But what if someone starts something with me?”

“Why would anyone start something with you for no reason? Second: if you fight someone, no biting, and above all no throwing lime in people’s eyes. As for rolling on the ground, hiding under tables to chop people’s feet, crawling into a man’s crotch, squeezing his testicles, bawling and screaming when you’re losing, lying down and playing dead, none of that. Those are the actions that earn contempt. Not what heroes and brave men do.”

“If I can’t beat someone, I just take the beating and don’t fight back?”

“Fighting back requires real martial arts. Hooligan tricks like yours make people laugh their heads off. Fooling around in the brothel is one thing, but if you’re following me through the jianghu, cut it out now.”

Wei Xiaobao thought to himself, You say fighting needs real martial arts. I’m a child. What real martial arts do I have? This isn’t allowed, that isn’t allowed. Isn’t it just take the beating and don’t fight back?

Mao Shibai continued, “Martial arts are learned. Who brings martial arts out of his mother’s belly? You’re still young. Now is the time to begin training. Kowtow and take me as your shifu,¹¹ and I’ll accept you as my disciple. I’ve wandered the jianghu all my life, never settled down long enough to properly take a student. Count yourself lucky. If you’re obedient and train hard, you may yet develop fine martial skills.” He gazed at Wei Xiaobao with a look of some expectation.

Wei Xiaobao shook his head. “No chance. We’re equals, friends. If I kowtow and take you as shifu, wouldn’t that drop me a generation? Your granny’s, you’re up to no good, trying to get one over on me.”

Mao Shibai was furious. How many men in the jianghu had wanted to study under him, to learn his celebrated Five Tigers Gate-Breaking Blade¹²? But they had been either of bad character, poor talent, or ill timing, and he himself had always been occupied with urgent affairs, without leisure to take on a disciple. Today, moved by gratitude that Wei Xiaobao had saved his life, he had wished to teach the boy, and the kid had flatly refused. In his anger, he raised his palm to strike, but checked himself. “Let me tell you. Right now I am disposed, on a sudden whim, to take you as a student. Later, even if you kowtow a hundred times begging, I won’t accept you.”

“What’s so rare about that? Later, even if you kowtow three hundred times and beg me to take you as shifu, I still wouldn’t agree. Being your student means doing everything you say. What’s the fun in that? I don’t want to learn your martial arts.”

Mao Shibai said angrily, “Fine. Don’t learn. When the enemy catches you later, unable to die and unable to live, don’t come crying to me.”

“What’s there to regret? Even if I learned martial arts as good as yours, what’s so great? You got tied up by Heilongbian and couldn’t move. You met some freeloader from Prince Mu’s Manor and were all brown-nosing and respectfulness, trying to make friends, and he ignores you. My martial arts may not be as good as yours, but at least…”

Mao Shibai grew angrier with every word. He could bear it no longer. With a smack, he slapped Wei Xiaobao hard across the face. Wei Xiaobao had expected the blow. Instead of crying, he laughed loudly. “You’ve hit the nail on the head, that’s why you’re so angry. Let me ask you. Is it because you wanted to make friends with that man and he ignored you, so now you’re taking it out on me?”

Mao Shibai truly did not know what to do with this child. He could not bring himself to hit him, could not scold him, could not simply ignore him. His nature was thunderous and explosive, but now he forced himself to restrain it. He snorted, puffed out his cheeks and let go of the reins. “Horse, horse, give us a tiger jump and throw this little brat half to death!” He had meant to impose three conditions on Wei Xiaobao, but they could not agree on the second, and he had forgotten the third.

Wei Xiaobao pulled the reins himself. The horse walked along obediently and gave him no trouble. Wei Xiaobao was delighted. You won’t teach me to ride? I figured it out on my own. He thought further, From now on I follow you through the jianghu. I’ll see you fight all the time. You don’t teach me, as if I don’t have eyes to watch? I’ll learn your martial arts and your opponents’ martial arts too. Combined, naturally stronger than yours alone. Bah, who cares? That freeloader’s chopstick-throwing trick was quite useful. If he kowtowed and begged to teach me his skill, I might deign to agree. But why would he kowtow to me? Thinking this, he could not help but chuckle.

Mao Shibai turned. “What’s so funny?”

“I was thinking about that freeloader from Prince Mu’s Manor…”

“What freeloader?”

“Isn’t he surnamed Bai?”

“So what if his surname is Bai? How does Bai mean freeloader? The Bai family is very important at Prince Mu’s Manor in Yunnan. Liu, Bai, Fang, Su, the four great retainers¹³ of Prince Mu’s Manor.”

“What three great retainers, four great retainers? What kind of ghost thing is Prince Mu’s Manor?”

“Can you keep your mouth clean? In the jianghu, everyone at the mention of Prince Mu’s Manor prostrates in admiration. What ghost are you talking about?”

Wei Xiaobao merely grunted.

Footnotes

1. 抱拳 — bàoquán. To clasp one’s fists, the left palm over the right fist, as a mark of respect or greeting among martial artists. ↩

2. 鹰爪 — yīngzhǎo. Lit. “Eagle Claws.” Imperial agents deployed to track and capture fugitives. ↩

3. 沐王府 — Mù Wáng Fǔ. Prince Mu’s Manor. The Yunnan seat of the Mu family, hereditary Princes of Qian under the Ming, who became leading figures in the resistance against the Qing after the dynasty’s fall. ↩

4. 总舵主 — zǒng duòzhǔ. Grand Chief, the supreme leader of the Heaven and Earth Society. ↩

5. 天地会 — Tiāndì Huì. Lit. “Heaven and Earth Society.” A secret society dedicated to overthrowing the Qing and restoring the Ming. ↩

6. 吃白食 — chī bái shí. Lit. “to eat white,” meaning to eat without paying, a freeloader. Wei Xiaobao puns on the surname Bai (白), which is the same character as “white.” ↩

7. 江湖 — jiānghú. Lit. “rivers and lakes.” The itinerant world beyond settled society and official reach. ↩

8. 武林 — wǔlín. Lit. “martial forest.” The community of martial artists and their world. ↩

9. 下三滥 — xiàsānlàn. The lowest of the low. Despicable, underhanded conduct, especially in the jianghu. ↩

10. 驷马难追 — sì mǎ nán zhuī. “Four horses cannot catch it.” A proverb meaning a promise, once made, cannot be taken back. Wei Xiaobao misquotes it as “what horse,” unable to recall the character 驷 (four horses). ↩

11. 师父 — shīfù. Teacher and lineage father. Shī means teacher. Fù means father. ↩

12. 五虎断门刀法 — Wǔhǔ Duànmén Dāofǎ. The Five Tigers Gate-Breaking Blade Technique, a renowned dao art of the jianghu. ↩

13. 四大家将 — sì dà jiājiàng. The four great retainers of Prince Mu’s Manor: the Liu, Bai, Fang and Su families. ↩