The Heavenly Sword & the Dragon Sabre – Chapter 40 – Part 4

Zhou Zhiruo raised her head and said, "Wuji gege,[^gege] I have a question for you. You must answer me truthfully, without the slightest concealment." Zhang Wuji said, "Very well. I won't hide anything from you." Zhou Zhiruo said, "I know that four women in this world have truly loved you. One is Xiaozhao, who has gone to Persia. Another is Miss Zhao. And the third is… she…" In her heart she wanted to say "Miss Yin," but could not bring herself to speak the words. She paused, then continued, "Suppose the four of us were all still alive and well in this world, and all by your side. Which one would you truly love the most?"

Zhang Wuji was thrown into confusion. “This… er… this…”

When Zhang Wuji had sailed out to sea on the same boat as Zhou Zhiruo, Zhao Min, Yin Li and Xiaozhao, he had more than once asked himself: “Each of these four young ladies loves me deeply. How am I to conduct myself? No matter which one I marry, it will surely break the hearts of the other three. In the deepest part of my heart, which one do I truly love the most?” He had vacillated endlessly, unable to decide, and so had taken to evasion. At one moment he would think, The Mongols have not yet been driven out, the rivers and mountains have not yet been recovered. While the Xiongnu¹ remain unvanquished, how can I think of founding a family? Why dwell on such matters of the heart? At another: I am the Leader of the Ming Order. Every word I speak, every action I take, bears upon the fortunes of the Order and the wulin² alike. I believe my conduct through life has been beyond reproach, but if I abandon myself to the pleasures of women, will I not invite the scorn of the heroes of the world and bring disgrace upon the Order’s name? And then after a while: When my mother lay dying, she charged me again and again that beautiful women are the most deceitful, and begged me to be wary all my life. How can I fail to take my mother’s dying words to heart?

In truth, his many justifications were no more than self-deception. To devote himself wholeheartedly to one of the young ladies would not necessarily have hindered the great work of recovery, still less tarnished the Ming Order’s reputation. It was simply that he found this one fine and that one fine too, and so dared not think too long. Strong as his martial arts were, his character was in fact rather indecisive. When matters arose, he tended to let things take their course, and when he could not avoid a choice, he preferred to yield his own wishes rather than cross the wishes of others. He had studied the Great Shift of Heaven and Earth³ in compliance with Xiaozhao’s entreaty. He had become Leader of the Ming Order partly because circumstances compelled him, partly because Yin Tianzheng, Yang Xiao and the others had moved him with their sincerity. His engagement to Zhou Zhiruo had been at Xie Xun’s command, and his refusal to go through the wedding ceremony with Zhou Zhiruo had been because Zhao Min had forced his hand by threatening his godfather’s life. Had Golden Flower Granny and Yin Li not coerced him with force but instead asked him gently to accompany them to Ling Snake Island, he would most likely have gone.

At times, in the deepest recesses of his heart, he could not help but think: If only I could remain by the side of all four of these young ladies for life, everyone living in harmony, would that not be a carefree happiness? Now, it was the late Yuan, and whether among scholars, merchants or jianghu⁴ worthies, three wives and four concubines were altogether commonplace. To have but a single wife was the rarity. The adherents of the Ming Order, however, had always been frugal and austere, and aside from their wives, few kept concubines. Zhang Wuji was modest and gentle by nature, and felt deeply that no matter which young lady he matched himself with, it would be a great blessing. To take additional wives and concubines on top of that would be a wrong done to the others. Considering how Yin Li’s family had been torn apart by tragedy because of her father’s multiple wives, such a notion would flash through his mind and vanish at once. He never dared let it linger. Whenever it occurred to him, he would reproach himself: A man ought to be content with what he has. To harbour such thoughts, is that not base and shameful?

Later, Xiaozhao had gone to Persia, Yin Li had died, and he had become convinced that Zhao Min was responsible. Then it followed naturally that he would marry Zhou Zhiruo. But unforeseen upheavals had arisen, bringing a great crisis, and afterwards the truth had emerged piece by piece: what Zhou Zhiruo and Zhao Min had done turned out to be the reverse of what he had supposed. Fortunately he had not gone through with the marriage to Zhou Zhiruo, which would have been a grave mistake. And Zhao Min had openly broken with her father and brother, so the matter was no longer difficult. He had never expected that Zhao Min would suddenly depart without a word, and that Zhou Zhiruo would pose him this question.

Zhou Zhiruo saw him fall silent without answering, and said, “What I ask you concerns a world of what-ifs. Xiaozhao has become the virgin Leader of the Persian Ming Order, and I… I have killed Miss Yin. Of the four, only Miss Zhao remains. I am only asking: if all four of us were well and by your side, and none of us had done any wrong, what would you do?”

Zhang Wuji said, “Zhiruo, I have thought about this for a long time. I seemed unable to decide before, but now at last I know who it is I truly love.” Zhou Zhiruo asked, “Who? Is it… is it Miss Zhao?”

Zhang Wuji said, “Yes. Today I have searched for her and cannot find her. I wish I were dead myself. When Xiaozhao left me, I was deeply grieved. When my cousin died, I was very sad. And you… what you became afterwards fills me both with heartache and with deep regret. If I cannot see you again, I shall be immeasurably loath to part. But, Zhiruo, I cannot lie to you. If I were never to see Miss Zhao again in this life, I would rather die. Such feelings as I have for her, I have never felt for anyone else.”

At first he had seemed to hold the four, young ladies Yin Li, Zhou Zhiruo, Xiaozhao and Zhao Min, in equal regard, but now that Zhao Min was gone, he suddenly realised that the place she held in his heart was, after all, different from the place held by the other three.

Zhou Zhiruo heard him speak thus, and said softly, “That day in Dadu, when I saw you go to that little wineshop to meet her, I knew where your heart’s true love lay. Even so, I clung to a foolish hope. If only I could… after we were married, then… then I could win your heart back. But in truth… in truth… that was utterly impossible.”

Zhang Wuji said contritely, “Zhiruo, I have always held you in respect and admiration, and felt gratitude towards you. For my Yin-family cousin, it was pity for her fate and sympathy for her devotion. For Xiaozhao, it was tender compassion and an instinctive urge to protect her. But for Miss Zhao it is… it is a love carved into the bone and engraved upon the heart.”

Zhou Zhiruo murmured, “Carved into the bone and engraved upon the heart. Carved into the bone and engraved upon the heart.” She paused, then said in a low voice, “Wuji gege, I too love you with a love carved into the bone and engraved upon the heart. Don’t… don’t you know that?”

Zhang Wuji was deeply moved. He took her hand and said gently, “Zhiruo, I know. For your devotion to me, in this life I shall never know how to repay you. I… I have truly wronged you.”

Zhou Zhiruo said, “You have not wronged me. You have always treated me well. Let me ask you: if Miss Zhao had not departed without farewell this time, and you could never find her again, or if she had been done to death by some villain, or if her heart had turned against you, what would you do then?”

Zhang Wuji had been grieving for a long while within. Hearing her speak thus, he could contain himself no longer. Tears fell, and he said, his voice breaking, “I… I don’t know! All I know is, I would search for her from the highest heavens to the deepest earth. And if I could not find her, I would die!”

Zhou Zhiruo sighed. “You need not die. She would not turn her heart against you. And finding her is easy enough.”

Zhang Wuji was startled and overjoyed. He rose to his feet. “Where is she? Zhiruo, please, tell me quickly.”

Zhou Zhiruo gazed at Zhang Wuji with her luminous eyes. Seeing the expression of wild joy upon his face, she said softly, “You will never care for me half so much. If you wish to know where Miss Zhao is, you must promise me one thing first. Otherwise you will never find her.”

Zhang Wuji asked, “What must I promise?”

Zhou Zhiruo said, “I have not thought of it yet. When I have, I shall tell you. Only this: it must not offend against the way of xia,⁵ must not hinder the great work of recovery, and must not harm the reputation of the Ming Order or your own. But it may not be easy to carry out.”

Zhang Wuji was taken aback, and thought, That day Min-er asked me to do three things, and said the same, nothing that offends against the way of xia. So far she has asked me to do only two, and those two were truly hard enough. Now Zhiruo is copying her?

Zhou Zhiruo said, “If you will not promise, that is your choice. But a true man keeps his word. Once you have promised, when the time comes, you may not shirk or deny it.”

Zhang Wuji pondered. “You say this will not offend against the way of xia, will not hinder the great work of recovery, and will not harm the reputation of the Ming Order or my own?”

Zhou Zhiruo said, “That is so.”

Zhang Wuji said, “Very well. If it truly does not offend against the way of xia and does not hinder the great work of recovery, then I promise.”

Zhou Zhiruo said, “Let us seal it with a clap of palms.” She held out her palm to strike his.

Zhang Wuji knew well that once he struck palms with her and swore the oath, he would have placed a fearful yoke upon himself. This young lady Zhou appeared gentle and refined on the surface, but her scheming was as deep and her actions as ruthless as Zhao Min’s, far surpassing his own abilities at any rate. He raised his palm, but could not bring it down.

Zhou Zhiruo smiled. “All you need do is promise this one thing, and I shall let you see the one you hold dear in the blink of an eye.”

Zhang Wuji felt a warmth flood his breast. He gave no further thought to anything else, and struck palms with her three times.

Zhou Zhiruo smiled. “Look who is here.” She reached out and parted the bushes behind her. Behind a screen of leaves sat a young woman, her expression caught between a smile and something else, and who was it if not Zhao Min?

Footnotes

1. 匈奴 – Xiōngnú. An ancient nomadic confederation that menaced China’s northern frontiers from the Warring States through the Han dynasty. Here invoked in allusion to Huo Qubing’s famous declaration, “While the Xiongnu remain unvanquished, how can I found a family?” (匈奴未灭，何以家为), repurposed by Zhang Wuji as a rationale for setting aside thoughts of marriage in favour of the Ming Order’s mission to overthrow the Yuan. ↩

2. 武林 – wǔlín. Lit. martial forest. The community of martial artists and their affiliations, bound by custom and reputation rather than law. Distinct from the jianghu, which is wider and more itinerant. ↩

3. 乾坤大挪移 – Qiánkūn Dà Nuóyí. Lit. the Great Shift of Heaven and Earth. The supreme secret art of the Ming Order, capable of redirecting force, reversing qi flow, and manipulating the trajectory of attacks. ↩

4. 江湖 – jiānghú. Lit. rivers and lakes. The itinerant world beyond settled society and official reach, holding not only martial artists but the trades that travel with them: pedlars, physicians, fortune-tellers, entertainers, boatmen, beggars, outlaws and the like. ↩

5. 侠 – xiá. A person who champions the weak and upholds right, answerable to conscience rather than authority. The way of xia is the code such a person lives by. ↩