Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils Chapter 1 – Part 2

The sword was mere inches from Duan Yu. A slight thrust would send the sword deep into his chest. Despite that, he did not panic. He said, “I really don’t know, of course. What’s so fun in pretending to be stupid?”

Gong Guangjie said, “You must be tired of living to come to Wuliang Sword School’s Jianhu Palace and behave so atrociously. What’s your affiliation? Who instigated you to do this? Don’t blame me for being ruthless if you don’t tell reveal the truth.”

Duan Yu said, “Why are you so unreasonable? I’ve always disliked watching others fight. Your esteemed school is called Wuliang Sword School and lives on Wuliang Shan. The Buddhist Sutra says that there are four infinities¹: kindness, compassion, joy and equanimity. All of you knows the meaning these four infinities. Wishing all sentient beings be happy. Wishing all sentient beings to be free from suffering. The wholesome attitude of rejoicing in the happiness and virtues of all sentient beings. Not to distinguish between friend, enemy or stranger, but regard every sentient being as equal. Since you’re from Wuliang Sword School, you should be compassionate, a believer of Amitayus², Amitabha³. Amitabha, amitabha…”

As he continued to ramble on about the Buddhist Sutra, Gong Guangjie sheathed his sword. Then he suddenly swung his hand and gave Duan Yu a solid slap. Duan Yu tilted his head to dodge but Gong had already retracted his hand. His handsome face was immediately swollen and the five-finger mark very obvious on his pale skin. Everyone was stunned. They expected him to be a skilled fighter since he appeared unconcerned by the threats, and he was full of nonsense as he teased his opponent. He could not even dodge a casual slap by Gong Guangjie. It appeared that he really did not know any martial arts. It was very common for highly skilled martial artists to act dumb to toy with their opponents. However, a person who had no knowledge gongfu would never be so bold and reckless. Gong Guangjie was also shocked that he struck true. He then grabbed Duan Yu’s chest and lifted him off the ground. “I was wondering what kind of a formidable figure you were. I didn’t expect you are just a useless fool.”

He slammed Duan Yu onto the ground. The latter rolled and his head struck the foot of the table loudly. Mawu De could not bear watching and rushed over to help him up. “You really don’t know any martial arts, young brother. Then why did you come here and cause trouble?”

Duan Yu rubbed his temple. “I came for the sightseeing. How would I know they would be fighting? What’s so nice to watch them hack and slash at each other? It’s more interesting to watch a monkey show. Farewell. Farewell, sir Mawu. I must take my leave.”

A young disciple leapt from Zuo Zimu’s side to block Duan Yu. He said, “Since you don’t know any martial arts, if you want to flee with your tail between your legs, it’s fine. Why did you say that watching us duel is worse than watching a monkey show? That’s just too much. I’ll give you two choices. Either you duel with me so that I can teach you about swordplay that’s no better than a monkey show, or you kowtow eight times to my shifu and say ‘talking nonsense’ three times.”

Duan Yu laughed, “You farted?⁴ No wonder it stinks!”

The disciple was furious. He threw a forceful punch at Duan Yu’s face. He was about to leave Duan Yu with a swollen eye when something flew in the air and wrapped around the youth’s wrist. It was cold and slippery. Once it wrapped around the wrist, it started slithering. The young disciple was shocked and retracted his arm hastily, only to see a crimson snake over a foot long coiled around his wrist. Its green and red patches looked terrifying. He shrieked and shook his arm forcefully, but the snake remained firmly wrapped around his wrist, refusing to be flung off. Suddenly, Gong Guangjie shouted, “Snake! Snake!”

His face paled as he reached into his collar to search his back. His hands could not reach whatever he was trying to get. Panicking, he hopped around as he frantically removed his shirt. These sudden turn of events left everyone in a daze. A sudden laugh sounded overhead. Everyone looked up to see a young girl sitting on the beam of the roof with both hands full of snakes. The girl was around sixteen years old. She was dressed in black and her smiling face was beautiful. She held around ten snakes snakes in her hands. Some of the snakes were green, some had coloured patches. Their triangular heads indicated that they were poisonous. Yet the girl held them as though they were toys and without a hint of fear. The crowd only glanced at her briefly. Hearing Gong Guangjie and his shidi screaming and shouting in dismay, the crowd’s attention was drawn back to them. Only Duan Yu continued to look at the girl, watching her swing her legs as though it was very fun to sit on the beam. “Are you the one who saved me, miss?”

“Why didn’t you fight back when the wicked man hit you?” she asked. Duan Yu shook his head. “I don’t know how to fight back…”

Suddenly, the crowd cried out in unison. Duan Yu turned to look at the practice ring and saw Zuo Zimu with sword in hand. There were blood stains on the blade. A snake cut in two laid on the ground. Fresh blood soaked the ground. Zuo Zimu slew the snake on his young disciple’s wrist. Gong Guangjie’s clothes had been removed. He was jumping around half-naked as a snake slithered up his back. He reached back to grab it but he could not catch it even after several attempts. Zuo Zimu roared, “Stand still, Guangjie!”

Gong Guangjie was stunned. There was a flash and the snake was already sliced into two. Zuo Zimu’s blade was swift. The snake was already chopped before they knew it and Gong Guangjie’s back was unharmed. The crowd cheered. The girl on the beam shouted, “Hey! Why did you kill my snakes, you long-bearded old man? I’m going to turn nasty.”

Zuo Zimu asked angrily, “Which family are you from? What are you doing here?”

He was secretly shocked that no one noticed the girl climb onto the beam. Even though everyone had their attention fixated on the duels, there was no excuse for them to be unaware that someone was hiding above them. If word of it got out, Wuliang Sword School would be shamed. She wore a pair of light green shoes embroidered with a few small yellow flowers. She was dressed like a little girl. As he watch her swing her legs, Zuo Zimu stated, “Get down now!”

Duan Yu said hurriedly, “It’s so high. If she jumps down, won’t she’ll hurt herself? Ask your people to get a ladder at once!”

A few people could not help but laugh at his words. The female disciples of the Western sect thought, “He appeared to be a talented man, yet he turned out to be a dimwit. If the girl could get onto the beam without anyone knowing, her qinggong⁵ must be good. Why would she need a ladder to come down?”

“Compensate me for my snakes. Then I’ll go down to talk to you.”Zuo Zimu said, “It’s only two snakes. What’s the big deal? You can easily catch two snakes from anywhere.”

Seeing the girl play with poisonous things so casually, Zuo Zimu knew that while she was no big deal given her tender age, her father, brother, shifu or shixiong might be someone formidable. Hence, he was more tolerant when talking to her. She smiled. “You make it sound easy. Go ahead and catch two for me then.”

“Get down now.”

“I’m not coming down.”

“If you don’t come down, then I’ll be going up there to drag you down,” Zuo Zimu threatened.The girl giggled. “You can try. If you can drag me down there, then credit to your ability.”

As head of a sect, Zuo Zimu could not play around with a young girl in front of the many notable figures and the disciples of his school. “Xin shimei, please get one of your female disciples to bring her down here.”

“We don’t have someone with such good qinggong in the Western sect,” Xin Shuangqing replied.Zuo Zimu’s face darkened. He was about to retort when the girl said, “Since you don’t want to compensate me for my snakes, I’ll give you a taste of my power!”

She drew a furry ball from the leather pouch on her left hip and tossed it at Zuo Zimu. Thinking it was some strange sneak attack, Zuo Zimu did not dare to catch it but hurriedly dodged to one side. He did not expect the ball to be alive. It twisted in mid air and pounced onto Gong Guangjie’s back. It was a greyish white marten. It was extremely lively as it rapidly ran around Gong Guangjie’s back, chest, face and neck. His hands clawed desperately but while his reflexes were quick, the marten was ten times faster. Each time he failed to grasp it. To others, he appeared to be flailing his arms, clawing hitting at his back, chest, and neck. He struck himself loudly each time yet the marten continued darting around.

“Brilliant! Brilliant! This marten is fascinating!” Duan Yu laughed.

The marten was almost a foot long. It had gleaming red eyes and its claws were very sharp. Gong Guangjie’s naked torso was soon full of bloodied scratches. The girl suddenly whistled a few times. There was a white flurry of movements. The mink had pounced onto Gong Guangjie’s face and swept its fluffy tail towards his eyes. He snatched at it with both hands, but the marten had already darted to nape of his neck. His fingers nearly poked his own eyes. Zuo Zimu took two steps towards his disciple and struck swiftly with his sword. The marten had scurried back to Gong Guangjie’s face. Zuo Zimu raised his sword and stabbed at the marten. With a twist of its body, it bounded to the back of Gong Guangjie’s neck. The tip of Zuo Zimu’s sword stopped barely touching his disciple’s eyelid. Even though this move did not strike true, the crowd gasped in admiration of his skill. Had the sword lunged half an inch more, Gong Guangjie would have lost his eye. Xin Shuangqing conceded quietly, “Zuo shixiong’s swordsmanship is impressive. This Golden Needle’s Salvation⁶ move alone is way beyond my mastery.”

Zuo Zimu’s blade swooshed as he struck four times consecutively. Although his moves were extraordinarily fast, the marten was one step ahead. The girl called out, “Your swordsmanship is good, long-bearded old man.”

She gave two shrill whistles. The marten scurried downwards and disappeared. Zuo Zimu was surprised. Gong Guangjie started clawing at his thighs. The marten had entered his pants from the ends of the trousers.

“What an eye-opener for me today. Amazing!” Duan Yu laughed heartily as he clapped in appreciation.

Gong Guangjie fumbled to remove his trousers and revealed his hairy thighs. The girl remarked, “Wicked man. You like to bully others. I’ll make you strip naked and see if know shame!”

She whistled twice again. The obedient marten climbed up Gong Guangjie’s thigh burrowed into his underpants. There were many girls in the arena. There was no way he would be willing to remove his underpants. Instead, he hopped around and slapped his lower abdomen and buttocks. Then he let out a yelp and stumbled hurriedly out of the arena. Just as he reached the entrance of the arena, another person rushed in through the door. They slammed into each other. Both of them were in a headlong rush, one leaving the arena while the other was entering. The force of the impact made Gong Guangjie stagger backwards, while the other person was flung onto the ground.

Footnotes

1. 无量 – Wúliàng. Wuliang means infinite or limitless. The brahmavihara in Buddhism, are called wuliang in Chinese. See Wikipedia. ↩

2. 无量寿佛 – Wúliàng Shoùfó. Amitābha Buddha which is Wuliang Shou Buddha in Chinese. See Wikipedia. ↩

3. 阿弥陀佛 – Ēmítuófó. The Chinese pronunciation for the Sanskrit name of the Amitābha Buddha. The Emituo is the transliteration of the Sanskrit word “amita” which means boundless (wuliang). Fo is the Chinese word for Buddha. See Wikipedia. ↩

4. 放屁 – Fàngpì. The Chinese words for “talking nonsense” and “farting” are homonyms. ↩

5. 轻功 – qīnggōng. The ability to move swiftly and lightly. Qing means light. Gong means skill. ↩

6. 金针渡劫 – Jīnzhēn dùjié. The Golden Needle’s Salvation is a move in the martial arts. It is a move that is used to save a person’s life. ↩